Now, before I go any further, I wonder how many views this post will get with a title like that!!!

I've been tracking the moon over the past week and a half or so - watching it get larger and larger. I don't usually pay any attention to it, and I guess it's because Halloween was approaching that I took an interest. I wish I hadn't. Aunt Pauline used to talk about the patients' moods at full-moon time, since she was a psych nurse for years. She said the "craziest" nights were the nights with a full moon. Well, that thought kept running through my mind.......I think last night was probably about the full moon. For the past two weeks I've been in a MOOD......In all my years in Al Anon I've learned alot about myself, and what circumstances have played a role in who I am today. I think every negative defect of character has come out - none of it pointed at Bill, but look out if you happened to cross this wild woman! It was all "justified" in my mind though. Take the idiot project manager who parked his pick-up right in the handicapped ramp area of a new restaurant in town. I took that one to the manager of the restaurant. When we left 45 minutes later the truck was still parked there. No apology - just "I'll move it, I just had some things to do"....My reply? Not a pleasant thank you - no - I just had to say it - YOU, of all people should know better than to park in that spot...his response? Lady, I'll be nice this time, but I could just leave this truck parked right here.......If I'd gone any further, I think the police would have been called and I would have ended up with an assault charge against me. Now, who did THAT little dialogue hurt the most? Me, of course - I'm the one who has stewed about it, while I'm sure he could have cared less (obviously!) about my husband's difficulty maneuvering the ramp - he didn't even say anything to him. Well, I've got it off my chest now, and it will be the topic of the program for tomorrow night's meeting...

Bill suggested that for Christmas, we give each other a vacation south. It's amazing to me that #1, he feels like travelling and #2 he is thinking ahead. For the past two Christmases he's not been able to think about anything except whether he would be alive the next day. This is the first Halloween I've felt like decorating like I used to. He really enjoyed watching me hustle and bustle around getting the jack-o-lanterns carved. He asked when we were getting the candy...and was genuinely disappointed when we only had a handful of trick or treaters.....What fun it is to have my husband back again - for however long it is!! I do still have to remind myself thougth that there is impairment there, that he doesn't have the ability to reason clearly and his decisions aren't always based on a good assesment of a situation. That's when I have to step in with a suggestion about alternative choices.

Yesterday we went to the Holiday Show. I enjoyed seeing everything, but this is the 3rd time I've gone and it seems like it's basically the same thing every year. I did get a Longaberger basket catalogue though and two new Snowbabies. My collecting fetishes!! I wheeled Bill around, and for the most part people were real nice. I did see a few discusted looks though, of people who obviously felt a wheelchair in their midst was an inconvenience to them....Last night Bill kept asking me if there was any Longaberger I just couldn't live without.....with over 200 baskets, it's kind of tough to feel as though I HAVE to have anything! Since I'm officially a "collector" though, I think I'll get the Christmas basket since I've missed a few years.

Well, I'm alive and well - Bill's doing well and we are just perking along. Next week will be full again - Carotid doppler Tuesday, VA dentist Wednesday.........who knows what the rest of the week! For now though, Bill has just gotten up so it's time to get with the daily routine!