Hi Phyllis,

It sounds like you've had a really bad week, I'm so sorry. Don't be too quick to accept that you were at fault. Too often authorities take the easiest explanation, not necessarily the correct one. When my son had an accident, they said he was at fault without even asking his side. The investigating officer didn't even know how many cars were involved! But my son was a teenager, so he caught the blame.

If you were confused, they probably pounced on you to blame because you had good insurance. It would get messy and complicated to look too closely.

I don't know about you, but since my stroke I automatically think I'm wrong in any argument. I put myself down for forgetting or misunderstanding. It's hard to keep your self-esteem up sometimes.

But don't let them walk all over you. Call the insurance company. Their job is to look out for you.

It was an ACCIDENT. Lots of people have them and it doesn't make them bad people. Don't let this hold you back from what you want to do in life.

Hope you feel better in a few days,

:hug:

Carol

Phyllis,

I'm sure it's normal to feel depressed and sad after a bad accident like you've had. But please, please remember that this was an ACCIDENT. You didn't intentionally mean to harm anyone. You were not drunk and irresponsibility out joy riding and although the others were shook up, no one died.

You are going through a process of sorting out your emotions and in time you'll find a way to forgive yourself. Until then, never doubt that people care about you. It's like we grandmother types tell the kids: you did a bad thing but you're not a bad person. Don't withdraw from your friends here and in real life. Share your pain so we can help you.

Jean

Hi Phyllis, yes talk to someone at the Insurance company.. they should be helping you. Don't beat yourself up.. You were driving in the dark, rainy weather, bad conditions. Accidents happen.. that's why they are called "accidents" you did not do it on purpose, as jean said, not drinking, not being irresponsible, not driving without insurance.

Take it easy, I am sure you are shook up and sore.

We do not think you are a bad person by any means, you had an "accident" We are here for you.. No lurking... you be active and let us send you hugs and help you through this time..

:friends: :friends: :friends: Bonnie

Phyllis,

Recently I've seen an ad on television, and you may have seen it too. The ad tells us not to talk with anyone but our insurance company about any accident we are involved in. Make no "admissions" of guilt or declaration of innocence. Our insurance company is paid to protect us. They will investigate an accident. They employ attorneys for just such purposes.

Accidents do happen - I have a personal "beef" with North Carolina since they call accidents "crashes". I've been involved in a few accidents, and they were just that. I was involved in a head-on collision where another hit me. She didn't intentionally set out to hit my car, but she didn't see me - I think she may have been looking to her right and I was on her left - it doesn't matter, as I said she didn't mean to do it. As I look back, I may have avoided the accident if I'd looked at the drive she was pulling out of and waited for her to do it before I pulled into the street. But why second-guess? The accident happened.

It's interesting that you were using the center line to guide you since it was better lit. My mom used to have a fit with anybody using the center line. My brother always uses it as a guide and taught his kids to do the same. He says if someone is coming toward you at least you have a place to go to your right without danger.

Yes, you may have been near the center line - but an oncoming car could surely have seen your lights and made an adjustment - you see, when more than one car is involved there is probably always an alternative for everybody. Phyllis, you can't change anything that has happened. It sounds as though while there was damage to some cars, the people escaped relatively unscathed. Did I miss what happened to the car that left the scene? I'll go back and re-read your post.

I haven't had a stroke, but I hate to drive in the rain - and after dark it's worse. Down here the marking on the roads is horrible - especially on the sides, and when it's dark and pouring down rain I feel like the likelihood of an accident is so great that I'd much rather stay put when I can. I'm sure you are feeling the same way. An automobile accident doesn't make you any less worthy of life, joy, happiness, contentment than anybody else, Phyllis. I don't think there are answers to alot of questions we have about our life - except that I think every event of my life offers me an opportunity to help another person. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow - but the time will come when my experience can offer someone else comfort. I think your life experiences can do the same. You can help so many people through sharing your experiences. :friends:

Warmly,

hey Phyllis:

your blog had upsetted me so much that I decided to wait for wise people to comment first, I know you were upset when you wrote this blog, please don't be so hard on yourself due to ACCIDENT, accident happens as Ann says we learn from it, yo have helped so many people on their down days, including me with your sense of humor, so don't let this accident pull away from your friends, we all need you here.

Asha

Hey Phyllis--

I hope you re feeling better about yourself. Please don't be so down on yourself. Please stop lambasting yourself. This was an accident and you certainly did not want to incur injury to anyone. Accidents happen. I am so sorry you feel so badly but I think you have a very intelliegent dog. S/he knows you deserve love and you are a good person.

I have a question, however. It is a crime to leave the scene of an accident. What has transpired to the driver who left the scene?

Do take good care of yourself. I hope you get some friends to come over and keep you company so they can reinforce what a good person you are. Please do not be alone at this time. Take Care. LK :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: ((((((((HUGS))))))))

Thank you to everyone. Some answers to questions would be. The 2nd car hit was driven by an hispanic man who apparently could not speak much English and although another driver also had a hispanic name but apparently that person's English was not too good. It strikes me as strange that the Fl, Hwt Patrol does not have a bi-lingual officer or give some training or use a recorder with questions in areas where there are so many who speak Spanish. The next town is a fern growing area and many of the workers are hispanic. In fact, 2 small men came to see how I was. They couldn't get me out of the drivers side door and so pulll me (and I helped) over the console and out the other door. They were concerned about the smoke - (That sure scared me) Someone later said it was from the airbags. In fact one of these small men grabbed me from the passengers seat and carried me away. I'm not exactly a little girl)( I don't know if they were from the accident or just passer-bys) I was far away from the other cars. So to go on. Apparently, the second car was going the opposite direction and it was me who was the hitter and not a hit/run.

I believe it was Ann who said, the other person perhaps should adjust when they see someone too close or over but that isn't the law. If you are in their space, you are wholly responsible. Also Ann, you mentioned the choice of the side. I believe you may also live where there are drainage ditches on the sides. With small roads and drainage ditches, there is a problem if a person doesn't know the are. And lastly, night time darkness is better because there may be a high moon giving light. Of course with rain if there was a moon, it must have been concealed.

Yes, in a way accidents are like strokes, happen quickly and alters lives.

I am driving a rental to be able to work and I learned 2 things. I should have had my mirrors at a different angle- one that would show ant car next to me buyt also low enough to reflect the line. And, perhaps with this car, unlike my last which I loved, the seat did not adjust up or down or I never found out how- I should have probably used a pillow- although I thought I had a large enough pillow attached to my body. Perhaps some of you are also as stupid about these things as I was.

Hi Again Phyllis,

I moved to North Carolina from Michigan. Because of the snow in northern Michigan the right of way along side the roads where I grew up is real wide in order to accommodate the winter snow. The roads - even the side roads are wide, with an upgraded right of way along side the pavement. In the south, however, I've noticed the roads are narrower and the shoulders are more likely to be soft due to either the clay or water. My brother, who taught his kids to drive, lived in Kentucky at the time - and I think Indiana and Kentucky rank right up there with Florida as far as poor and narrow road shoulders. That is the reason he taught them to use the center line as their guide. I was taught that in order to stay in the center of my side of the road I need to pick a place in the distance in the center of my lane as my point of reference.

I'd really suggest a power driver's seat for you. Power seats are available in about all cars now, and they allow you to adjust the seat up/down, back and forth much more easily. I've insisted on a power seat for years since I've had a disc problem that requires me to be able to adjust my seat easily.

For me, driving in the dark is much more difficult than in the daylight. I think my age has finally started to catch up with my sight and I just don't see as well in the dark - or maybe it's that I don't trust my night time vision and don't like the glare of other cars' headlights. I don't think I'm unusual in hating to drive in the rain - day OR night!!

I'm not sure what you mean by getting different mirrors so you can see the center line. With any outside mirror you should be able to adjust it so you can glance and see the lines - on either side of your car. You may need to practice this, but I was taught in drivers ed to adjust the mirrors so I can see the lines on both sides of my side of the road. If you can see the lines in your mirrors, you are in your own lane.

I'm so sorry you've had to suffer the emotional aspects of being involved in an accident. I agree that every police department should have Spanish interpretors available for every shift. It isn't fair to either the English speaking or Spanish speaking person in these situations - and may even be used in the event of any legal action, I would think. At this point you have had to rely totally on what a police officer has told you about the details of this accident, while you did not feel you were over the center line. The other person involved directly - namely the person you are said to have hit - didn't speak English and it sounds as though the details were all communicated to the police officer by individuals who spoke broken English and were used as interpretors. Even I can see problems with this whole scenario on so many levels.

Sometimes I think we are too emotionally invested in a situation to be able to clearly interpret the details. As I said before, I think your insurance company will probably do some investigating of the accident and there may be some attorneys involved. Especially since you received a citation, I hope you will speak with your insurance company - if you haven't already - about what you should say in response to it.

You've got so much spunk and determination, hang in there and do stand up for yourself, girlfriend!!! By the way - aren't you the one who says she wears a size 12??? Oh to be a size 12. :giggle:

Warmly,