Now Ray has been at Woy Woy for a while I am getting used to the drive there and back. I pass a few suburbs rather than go through them but there is a lot to see. It is as familiar to me as most of the routes of my life having done it so many times in 1999, again for four weeks in 2000 and 2001. There haven't been a lot of changes so I can almost do it with my eyes shut. I keep them open though as it has tricky bits, like school zones, buses turning and a few busy roundabouts.

Today I came on here and talked to some lovely people in Caregiver Chat, had some lunch and went to visit Ray. I knew there would be other visitors as one of his second cousins called to say she and her husband would meet us there. This is a couple we have been involved with for many years and yet sometimes might have only seen them every second year. It depended on where we moved to. She went to the same school as Ray and lived just up the road when he was growing up so they have a lot of shared memories.

I got there first, spent some time repacking his clothes drawer and cupboard hanging space. It is one of those things a wife does, she rearranges the clothes in your closet. It is part of the job. Ray wears a clean outfit every day and every night so there is always plenty of clothes to bring home. That is part of what a husband does, makes dirty clothes so his wife can wash them. I say all of this with a smile on my face knowing some of you will disagree. But that is the way it is here right now. It is the small issues that tell Ray that I love him, clean clothes, a piece of fruit, news of friends and family. It all means much more than a rose on St Valentine's Day.

Then when they came we had a long, long chat. Nurses came and took blood, tested Ray's sugar, filled glasses with water and gave him meds and he didn't care, we just all went on talking as if they didn't come there. Funny how that happens sometimes, it is like being in a special place . Don't know why we hardly experience that feelings other than on occassions like today. Maybe it is because the visitors have made a special effort to slow their day down to our speed.

The rest of the visit after they had gone we just rehashed what we had said and heard. I used to do this with my kids, go back over what had happened. It seems to stay sharper in your mind that way. Ray had had a visitor earlier in the day but he couldn't remember who so we played twenty questions until he remembered it was an old friend a minister from another denomination. Don't know how he found out Ray was there but he just called in for a visit. Ray remembered it was a friend from the past but wasn't sure of who he was. It doesn't matter how hard he tries confusion seems part of his everyday life now.

On the way home I sang a little to pass the time. Traffic was slow in places as the workers made their way home, after five o'clock is busy even on the back roads. As I approached a country village not far from here I slowed as a fire truck backed out onto the road and went off with it's lights flashing. The "tannoy" was still blaring, no-one had remembered to turn it off. Then in the trees on the next block I saw an amazing sight. Two trees were full of "fairies", small girls in pink bodices and tutus from a nearby dance academy had climbed the trees to watch the fire truck go by. In the late afternoon sun their clothes sparkled and seemed to give them a dream-like appearance. How blessed we are to live in a world that is still full of surprises.

Ray is getting better. Today his high armed walker was replaced by a quad stick and he can walk with only one person to assist now and doesn't need another person to follow with the wheelchair. But his sugar reading was much higher than it should have been and he has frequent urination problems again. It is all a process. Healing is the aim, home the destination.

,