Hey adchill:

welcome to our blogworld, I would love to know your first name, we have lot of similarities except that I am able to accept and love newme and I am sure you will do, Blogging here was my biggest contributor in reaching that happy place. Ok I was software engineer before my stroke and I too lost baby just a day after delivering her, and day later boom I got stroke, what helped me most was to realize in dealing with death of my daughter is that at no point I would have been able to handle my child's disability by getting glimpse at my disability. Saying that what also helped me getting in rhythm of life and celebrating each and every thing I can do in my blog, I do have amazing hubby, and funny 9 yr old son who have made my journey back intersting. After 3 years today I am very involve in my child's school and also volunteering at redcross and our temple, which all gives me purpose and thing to look forward to. start making your gratitude list, or write a blog counting your blessings

Asha

Amy,

That was a beautiful blog. In time you will care for the new you, it takes time. Yes, you will need to take your own advice. It is hard - believe me I knoiw. I have always been one to assist others. Prestroke I was in Social Services field. Years ago I was an EMT/Paramedic. I am still learning to take my own advice after 2 years post. I am still a work in progress but a whole lot better than I was when I first met the stroke demon.

Take care of yourself and definitely welcome to the blogging world.

Hi sweetie - welcome to the blogworld!

This is your safehaven, your place to vent, and a good place to figure out who the new you is.

Having a stroke is also like a death, so yes, it may be bringing up the death of your daughter in full focus too - the mind is a funny and miraculous thing. You have my condolences and complete sympathy on your loss - I, too suffered two miscarriages early on in my first marriage. I was devastated and never talked about it - in fact I don't think I've talked about it on here before. Grief is a tidal wave that tries to overwhelm you and after it has drenched you, then it tries to suck you into the riptide and carry you away.

I've tried to look at this stroke as second chance - a true "stroke of luck" - now I can take the time I want to do what I really want to do - or not if I decide to be a bum that day. In a way, it's almost like I have my life backnow and it's getting better everyday. You will get there too - I promise. The road may be rocky, but each rock that is turned or moved is another step towards healing.

Much love and good wishes with calming thoughts coming your way

:hug:

Welcome to the blogs adchill

Keep at it!!!

Bill :beer:

Hi,

I think the new you includes being a writer, you words create pictures, and I think that is what being a good writer means.

Kind regards,

Dickons

Hi Amy, We are very hard on ourselves. I also got very frustrated with myself. Why can't I do this... I could do it last week. Why can't i remeber this...

We try so VERY hard and our minds jump from one thought to another.

We have to grieve for what we lost.. this is a normal part of healing and acceptance. It is something we have to work thru to get to acceptance.

I also lost a child... It was many years before my stroke.... My son had cancer he passed away at the age of 6. He too is my angel and I know he is watching over us. I felt the same.. why can't i fix him, why couldn't it have happened to me. But now I look at the time I had with him as a gift. I also had 2 miscarriages and for awhile it was hard to see little blonde boys, or women who were pregnant. This is not selfish, it is your hear aching, and with time it does get better. You are grieving for your loss of your baby and loss of yourself right now.

You will again find thingzs you like to do.... it seems the first year after stroke if you are not sleeping your mind is going 100 miles an hour. It takes time, patience and practice to learn to focus on things again.

Your Blog is wonderful and as Mel said this is a safe place and writing working through this and knowing others care and understand will hopefully be a big help and a GREAT first step

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))