Long day yesterday going to Duluth. The results were good. The OT agreed the Saeboflex has done it first job of giving me a grip again and straightening out my fingers. She says we will be doing more with it later. I still do the daily exercise of moving balls with the left hand, but don't use the Saeboflex much. I sort of feel bad that I only needed it for such a short time, but it is results that count, not how long it takes. Without it, I would still have a claw for a hand. Thanks Saeboflex. CAUTION: your results may vary! My results may not be typical! The hand is still a work in progress, she did the Grafston therapy again, it really helps finger dexterity. I'll talk more about it another time.

Positive thoughts, what does that mean, what are the benefits, and risks? What is it, what is it not? Let's explore that. I will never be a professional basketball player. All the positive thought in the world will never make that happen. So first, positive thoughts need to be realistic to be helpful. Me wishing to be a basketball player is not positive thought. It is fantasy. In fact, it is a negative thought because it would consume time and mental energy better spent on realistic goals. Remember in rehab how they talked about energy conservation, same applies to mental energy. The resource is limited, use it wisely. Positive thoughts also need to be for us survivors anyway, closer to home, not global in nature. I can't change the world, that was for a younger time, but I do have something to say about how this day will be for me. The risk is don't get caught up in too much, or something beyond your control. Be careful of fantasy. Hoping to win the lotto is an OK fantasy as long as you don't spend all your money buying tickets.

Negative thoughts and achieving balance in life. I submit to you that life is negative enough without me actively seeking out more negativity. In the past 6 years I have buried a wife of 28 years (cancer), buried my mother (also cancer), buried an aunt (accident), my father just had a foot amputated (diabetes), and I had a stroke. Many of you have had a worse time of it. During that same 6 years, millions died in war, genocide, accidents, at the hand of other people, disease, tsunamis, earthquakes, etc, etc. If that is not enough negativity for me I can just turn on the TV news and listen to the politicians apologize for their misbehavior, and explain why the world is not like they promised they would make it. I can go the the store and hear the cashier griping that they haven't gotten a raise in too long or had a break in several hours. We live in a negative world. My little efforts at being positive hopefully offset a tiny bit of that. Hanging around negative people is the last thing I need. Did I get angry, have pity parties, etc, during these hard times? You bet I did. But when it is time to move on, move on. Did having these negative thoughts help me? Nope. In fact I usually felt worse, slept poorly, etc. Grieving has its place, but even it must eventually end.

I was trying to have a bad day a few days ago. The dog needed to go out and make yellow snow. Lesley was busy in the kitchen, I tried to act tired (not hard to do since I was). She kicked my butt (verbally, not physically) and said "run the dog, don't hide behind your disability". I wanted to get upset, but my own words came back to haunt me. I ran the dog. That incident is in perfect keeping with what I have told her. Which is: assume I can do everything I used to do prior to my stroke, and if I can't or need help, I'll let you know. The flip side of that philsosopy is assume I can do nothing, I'll let you know if I can. Each of us must choose which philosophy we will follow. Do nothing, and we have made our choice, and life will make sure we live with the consequences.

In days to come I plan to give more specific examples of how to clear out some of the bad in our lives and hopefully replace it with good. Meanwhile, I am enjoying looking at a gentle snowfall in progress, my coffee cup is empty again (seems to have something to do with the large hole in the top of it causing it to be empty). Lesley is still sleeping, no sunrise to see today. Our Northwoods home is in the Arrowhead of Minnesota. Find Duluth at the west end of Lake Superior, go 125 miles up the north shore of Lake Superior, and you will find our town of Grand Marais. We live about 5 miles north of town on 5 acres of mostly pine forest on the Devil Track river. No offense, but please don't all come here to live. We have almost 5,000 living in the county now which is the size of the state of Rhode Island, some are already moving out because it is becoming too crowded. Gone on way too long, more later.