Just a quick check-in...
Entry posted by Robyn
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Howdy folks...I got a PM from someone and decided to check-in and give you a quick update. I hear from Bonnie regularly which is nice.
I am through the half-way point of the spring semester...almost done with my first year here at SIUE. So far so good. Things could be improved in terms of my teaching and I wish I could get more research done...last fall emotionally killed a lot of my momentum...but overall its been a good year here.
The kids are doing great. Margaret is doing violin lessons and is doing very well. She loves it and certainly has the talent for it. She's also finishing swimming lessons and started playing soccer this spring. My current girlfriend is helping coach her team so its great they have some time together. Sam stopped violin lessons...has a hard time standing still so I think he needs to be a bit older. I started him with Gymnastics which is LOVES! That seems to be his "THING" which is good! He's also going to play soccer too, starting this Saturday.
My new relationship is going well. I'm very happy. Kind of surprising considering where things were a year ago, but keeping my heart and mind open helped. Also getting the help I needed to support me was good too. We both honor the pain we felt from the breakups of our past relationship and keep an open dialogue about that.
I don't really think much about Jane any more. Things popped up a few weeks ago. I had emailed her in January asking when she thought she could return my things because she was supposed to have returned to Colorado after her stint in outpatient rehab in Massachusetts. I didn't hear from her for about 6 weeks so I resent the message telling her I assumed she wasn't ignoring my email but was simply not checking email so I forwarded it to her two colleagues who I knew would make sure she got the message. Sure enough she emailed me two days later. It was sort of a surreal message...very cold and distance. Not sure how much was the impact of the stroke versus her being who she is...not sure it matters any more anyway. The gist of the email was that "It was unfortunate how things ended between us." (probably the closest thing I'll get to an apology...ah well...)...she had brain surgery at some point last fall I guess so she had to stay in Massachusetts longer than expected and had only just returned to Colorado in the beginning of the month. She returned MOST of my things but she said she'd sort through the rest of the things when she moved back to her farm full time. Lastly, she asked if we could be colleagues... While that sounds weird, in my letter to her last fall I made it clear I was not interested in being friends...colleagues was a reasonable request because we run in the same academic circles and it would be awkward if that created a ruckus between us. I told her we were colleagues, but nothing more as the hurt will always be with me, even though I've moved on, and that I needed to protect my children from being hurt again. I've heard nothing since but that's fine...I didn't expect it nor wanted or needed it. I got my things back which was the closure I expected. NO, I'll never know why things changed...maybe one day she'll share but I've stopped hoping for it. And I'm OK...
I hope you guys are good...I miss hearing your voices! It is just too hard to come back here with any regularity as it opens up all the old hurt and wounds, but it isn't personal and I am grateful for all the love and support I got here. I'll check in on occasion but don't hesitate to PM me if you want!
XO Robyn
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