Ann,

Sorry to hear your back is flaring up. I hope you get some relief soon. Isn't there anyone who can assist you with Bill - even for short periods of time? Back pain stinks. I empathize with you as I experioence pain in my lower back on a daily basis. Kinda learn to live with it unless it goes into massive flareup mode. For an over the counter relief, I've discovered that Bayer Back & Body takes the "edge" off.

Annie:

I hope you are feeling better, hope you are able to line up someone for Bill's care, it's indeed scary, so caregiver should never fall sick

Asha

HI Annie, Hope you get some answers today, and that your back is feeling better soon. Back pain.. is no fun.. everything hurts and its hard to move.

They have those belts for support , sell them most places now, Lowe's home Depot, Walmart. Many companies now recommend them for peple who do a lot of lifting.

Anne,

There is nothing worse that self-inflicted caregiver guilt and it comes on with a venegence when we get temporarily disabled ourselves. It's a scary time because, as much as we wish there would be someone else to step up to the plate, in many cases there is no one. Or at least we think there is no one because we don't like asking for help.

A few months back I blogged about this same thing when my back took me to ER. I let it go too long and it sounds like you didn't. Good luck at the doctor's office. Hang in there until you get some answers.

For me, it was a wake up call to get Don a disability friendly phone so he could at least get help, should I not be able to phone out myself. I can't tell how much more security that purchase makes me feel.

Jean

I know how you feel about not being able to look after the one who needs you so to take care of yourself. I ended being taken to the hospital by ambulance cause I could not walk or move due to back pain and spasms. I had a person who could not do much in the way of assisting me as my caregiver who is aphasic to some extent trying to help.. Not much fun.. So the moral of the story is to take of yourself too, as a sick caregiver is of no use to anyone else..,

I think this begs the question: what would you all do if you had to be taken to the hospital and stay a few days? Do all of you have a back up plan where someone or others can step in when you, the caregiver, is incapacitated?

As caregivers, you all do so much. Sometimes you don't take care of yourselves as much as you should. I know I let that happen to me, although I thought I was fine. After my mother died, it was too late for me because I was in deep depression. I hid it well but let me tell you, it took gargantuan strength.

Part of taking care of yourselves is having a back up plan if something went wrong w/ your health. For your peace of mind and for the person you take care of, please make sure you have an emergency plan in place. Think of who would be responsible for making medical decisions. That person needs to have a note stating you give permission for them to make decisions for the person you care for, etc. One of the best decisions I made was I appointed a POA for myself. Never thought I would need it. I apologized to her the other day telling her I didn't think things would come to this. Now I am able to take over my own affairs. Take Care. LK

Hi Annie,

Boy, life has thrown you a curve, but it sounds like you are taking it in stride. I do hope you are able to find some help if needed around the house.

I have a bulging disk at L5, and it is no fun. For me, when it flares up, I tend to ice it over several days and that helps immensely. I also take Ibuprofen in moderation to take the edge off. Never been a fan of muscle relaxants. They just seem to make me goofy in the head.

I hope you get some answers from your doctor on ways to treat your pain. Keep us posted.

Bob

An Update!

You know the way it is - by the time I got to the doctor's office I was feeling better. But, he didn't seem to take my word for it! He did give me Skelaxin and Voltarin (an anti-inflammatory) and my back is much better.

The first thing I went through was a nurse lecturing me. Her question? Do you have a back-up plan for your husband's care should you be down for a day or two or three or more? You all know my answer - well, I have some friends I could call. That isn't good enough. My instructions were to get it done. I was given a telephone number to call in order to get the ball rolling in order to get that plan in place. She got my attention.

Yesterday I took Bill in for his INR check. I dropped him off at the door then went and parked the car. On my way back I tripped over the curb and went flat on all fours. It was embarrassing and I quickly got up. When we got back to the room I decided I should report it since it happened on their property. The next thing I knew the director of the Coumadin clinic and a doctor were walking in the room. The little nurse apologized to me when they left and said she really had no choice but to report the fall. Well, it required some icing of one of my knees. The doctor's first question was whether I'd ever injured that knee - of course it was the one that took out the dash in my car curing an accident many years ago (hate to say that "many years ago"!). The ice helped alot and it looks worse than it feels this morning.

The moral of this little story is that I have received two wake up calls in about four days. Yes, I will be making that phone call and I will start the ball rolling to secure a back-up plan for Bill's care. I know what she was telling me - I'm the caregiver and part of my responsibility is to ensure care for my husband in the event I can't do it. I also need to have a plan so I can get some respite care even if I'm not ill or injured. No person who is employed by another is expected to work (or even be on call) 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. It is actually an ego thing in my case - I can do it better than anybody else, I understand better than anybody else. That is just wrong and I've got to become real. No, nobody else will give the type of care I do, because the love we caregivers have for our survivor adds another demention to our care. Even though Bill tries to take the pressure off me when he knows I'm not feeling well, there is a reality he is not able to understand. That reality is that he is no longer capable of managing many of his basic needs. And that is not because I have crippled him by doing for him. (These are some of the demons that play with my mind in this area.)

And so, the ending of the back story is - the back is better, but the caregiver has been chastized into acceptance that she is not all-powerful and needs to take steps to care for her survivor should the need arise. (That mis-reading of a bp of 150/100 didn't hurt in hitting the reality of a need for help home.)

Ann,

Thanks for the update. We were all worried.

I'm dying of curiousity. The phone call you have to make to get the ball rolling for a back up plan...who are you suppose to call?

Jean

Jean,

The agency is "Senior Resources of Guilford County". The department is the Senior Assistance Program. I don't know whether they will help since Bill is only 57 and that has been an issue. We shall see. I called yesterday, got a voice mail and haven't received a call back yet.

back pain is awful, esp. when you have all the responsibilities you have -

Sure hope you were able to get xtra help

June :cheer: