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think Trouble is my middle name

dstraugh

Entry posted by dstraugh

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Another week is chocked up and gone by the wayside. I honestly thought that when we left Arizona we left the problems we were experiencing with my mother 2,400 miles away. So wrong was I. You would think out of site, out of mind....but no....I have not been that fortunate. Since July 16th, when we left AZ, I have tried and basically succeeded in blocking out the crap she has tried to start. We have unlimited long distance. I am rarely the one making the phone calls; Kiddo wishes to talk to her grandmother (but at times is sorry she did).

The latest phone call (Friday evening (8-31) I did not hear about until yesterday, Sunday (9-2).

 

Kiddo finally discussed it with me, but first making me promise not to get angry at grandma (first sign of trouble to come). She then talked to me about the phone call. Grandma wanted to know how school was going....Kiddo was honest and explained the problems she was having (mind you...they can be resolved and are not life threatening :giljotiini: ) My daughter then heard a tirade of chatter from the other end of the connection :yadayada: consisting of what a horrible person I was for taking her out of AZ where she was content, had friends, and was well adjusted to her surroundings. To add further ammunition, Kiddo was also told that grandmother and her friends want to find a way to take her back to AZ.

Now, I have a teenager girl - they are good at playing sides. My fear is that down the road, when daughter is angry about rules and regulations, will this be used? (not to say it will, but she is a teen)

 

Kiddo was told all this instead of being encouraged in the adjustment process. (change is hard for anyone) Rationally and realistically I know there is not a chance in He** that they are going to take Kiddo back to AZ. HOWEVER, I became quite livid and wanted to call AZ instantly and tell her off. I was not permitted near the phone. Last evening though I was told "Call your Mother, be nice." I did not want to call her...and I especially did not want to be nice. As my loving child begged me, I called.

 

And ohhhhhhh how the story changed. I was told quite the opposite of what was told to Kiddo...so if I had said anything, I woulda been told my kid was lying (it's happened before). So.....I bit my tongue (dang it's sore today) and was civil.

 

Ok...I feel better...I've unloaded this source of anguish - ready to move on to the next challenge.

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Phyllis4732

GR! Try not to stress; it the worst thing for those who have high blood pressure (not sure if this is the case with you) - even if it is controlled. One of the most important things for us to learn is to stay cool, no matter what. Let me say though, I KNOW that isn't easy. NOTHING is worth having another stroke about. My sister gets so angry with me because I don't worry about important things. She doesn't realize that I have to be optomistic or chance blowing it all. I found out what can happen. Yes, I worry, but have such strong faith that I feel it will somehow work out. Patience..........she's lucky she didn't have the stroke - she would really aggravate herself.

 

Just avoid your mother as much as possible and perhaps Kristi, when she gets into the sociak life and starts to feel comfortable with life in Pa. will not feel the need to call Grandma as much.

 

The week is started anew and I hope your luck has already changed.

 

Phyllis

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HostAsha

Donna:

 

as we talked your concerns are well founded but don't aggrevate your BP over it. look at the good side atleast Kido knew grandma was doing something bad so she shared her part of the conversation with you, which is biggest proof you got mature kido though teenager o your hand, no doubt sometimes they will want to play out with your parental limits. make Kristi uderstand moving to PA is for both of your good and it's not just for you. having family support is equally important emotionally and financially.

 

take a deep breathe and remember "This shall too Pass"

 

Asha

 

 

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bstockman

Yes like others said Kristi, knows your mother(her grandmother) is playing games. It will take Kristi a little time to settle in. Soon she will have friends and school activities and be a busy bee again.

 

 

Avoid mom.. as much as possible, just the phone calls.. when needed. Kids like to play on grandparents sympathy too...

 

A gentle reminder.. you are doing what you feel is the very BEST you can do for both of you.

 

((((((((hugs)))))))

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kanderson

donna, i agree with the others, kristi just needs to settle in alittle more at school and she will be to busy to call grandma. i know how teenagers can play sides, thats human nature, it seems. in her heart she knows you both are better off there in pa. where you have family to ease some of kristi's load in caring for you and you getting out more and being with family and friends. sounds like your mom is just causing trouble, so blow her off and don't get yourself upset, its not worth it. what goes around comes around. kristi knows how she is, you have taught her well. your mother is who she is and you can't change that. i wish you much happier days ahead. enjoy your cool weather and new home and new life with kitty and daughter.

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