It is so frustrating when it seems like it is never OUR turn to be given a break (literally AND figuratively). I guess it is so true that nothing lasts forever though, good or bad. All we can do is feel each moment of life- cherish the good in it, no matter how frustrating- and remember for better or worse this day will be a memory before we know it.

Thank you to the kind person who send me this email. She never thinks she is wise but her email closing with this paragraph certainly put life back in perspective for me.

Last Thursday Trev and I went north to my daughter's father-in-law's funeral. We had a nice three bedroom unit which we shared with our other son and his family. We stayed two nights so we could settle the kids in and give ourselves some down time as well.

Unfortunately both the little boys aged 16 months and three months had something wrong, one a high temp the other an upset tummy so the first night was full of the cries of small children and low on sleep. I tried to get Alex to sleep, his Dad tried, his Mum tried etc. You've all been there, done that. So Friday there were three tired adults, three tired children.

Our son-in-law did his father's funeral service, it must have been hard for him to do, I don't know how he managed to get through it but he did. And did a fine job. It must be so hard to do the service knowing it is your much loved father in the coffin, not some distant relative or friend. I did the eulogy for my Dad and remember how that felt. We went to the funeral tea afterwards, it was that mixture of sadness and false laughter, when people are trying to bring back to normal a day that is still madly out-of-control for the family at least.

At dinner that night I ate something that made me feel very bad the following day. Trev drove home, and I made it to the promised massage at at the women's weekend at 2pm only to find the masseuses had left early! So no massage. Instead I listened to all the others talk about their massage and how much they enjoyed it! But I guess in a way my running back and forth to my room would have taken the pleasure out of it anyway.

Last year I had a ball at the womens weekend away, this year I was just not in the mood. They said how much fun Friday night had been - I felt left out. I felt as if in making one choice - the funeral - I had destroyed my share of happiness in the weekend. I guess we have all done that, had something we had thought would be so good turn sour.

The paragraph I copied from Kristen's email applies here. Nothing is all bad. The weekend was not a success because of my feelings left over from the funeral but my room mate with her "can do" attitude was a great reassurance to me of the strength of women. I did have some time to chat to some of the others and I am sure that will allow me to talk to them on a more serious way in the future. We are all in pain, caregivers and survivors alike, and we are much stronger when we call up the strength of others to help us.

On the Thursday and Friday I enjoyed seeing my grand children again and seeing Naomi getting acquainted with Oliver and the older two resuming their kinship. I found out how much my son-in-law's mother and brother appreciated that we had come as a family to be with them in their grief. I got to swim in a nice pool at the units and early Friday morning Tori and I walked up and down a small beach finding shells, watching the platoons of joggers (seemed like hundreds of them) and catching a glimpse of marine life in the rock pools.

Kristen is right - nothing lasts forever good or bad. And we have to make the most of each day, as much as we feel able to at any rate.