I told myself I was going to blog before Thanksgiving which now it is the 4th day after turkey day and here I am just doing it now. I never liked to journal which may be one of my hang-ups or blocks about this new blogging phenomena. Anyhoo, things have been same-o-same-o with very small improvements. I only know this because other people notice it when I don't - YEH for the other people. My husband and I took my 95 year old mother-in-law out for turkey day dinner. She lives about an hour away. She can run rings around me. There is nothing medically wrong with her except some eye problems she is getting treatment for. She drives, does her own grocery shopping, cleans her own house which she has lived in for over 30 years and has a memory as sharp as a tack! She was swimming every day (when the temp reached 65 which is most of the time here in Arizona) until 2 years ago. She dresses well and usually has an answer for everything and usually is right (except for my stroke). She told me she thought it would be good for me to march to improve my left leg. Well, dammit I am!! :Tantrum: And get tired of it but do it because I want to get better more than they want me to. Except maybe my husband so I can do as much as I used to .

On thanksgiving we were gone from the house for 6 hours and I was exhausted when we got home. Of course, I had to get ready before we left, so that's anothe 1-1/2 hr.; I had showered the night before. People just don't get it - this stroke fatigue thing we have. I am glad there are all of you here who understand. I know I am not alone and I know I am doing the best I can do...well maybe not every day but I need a few breaks now and then too...As my husband sits and watches football or AMC movies in between folding the wash I started. I don't want you to think I'm on a pity pot; I feel my attitude is pretty good, but I know I am still dealing with acceptance of the loss of the old me. Today my husband showed me an article written about Xmas decorations in NY City which is something I said I had always wanted to see. I looked at him and asked if he would be willing to take me some day in a wheelchair. He said he would. WOW that was BIG. :cloud9: Of course, I hope I get better enough in the future so that wouldn't be necessary but by then we might be too old (I'm 64; he's 70). He is in great shape and works out 5 days a week. I have learned never to complain if he is gone too long. It used to be the other way around; I'd be gone and he'd be home.

Well, enough of my blabbering :yadayada: I want to add a few things I am thankful for which is really what I wanted to blog about to begin with (I can't get used to the word "blog"...who came up with that word anyway. :uhm: First and foremost, I am thankful to be alive, and I am thankful I believe in a God who I feel saved me to continue to live and get better. I am thankful for the progress I have made and for everyone who has helped me and stood by me from family to the nurses, doctors, techs, therapists, friends and most of all my husband Jerry. I owe so much to my physical trainer who is also a friend. When I was cut off from PT, I was not afraid because I knew she was there to help me. I am thankful I can drive and that I have a car all my own. I am thankful I have a one-story houses to live in and flowers to look at. I am thankful that my hands and fingers work now (after my stroke I was almost completely paralyzed). I can work on the computer and even knit and cross-stitch. I am happy to be able to eat and swallow as I still remember the feeding tube. I am grateful I can talk, as I still remember the trachea. And I can walk slowly from room to room in the house and can get up and down by myself. I can even roll over in bed. I am grateful for this website to give me a forum to express myself and occasionally chat and help others. One goal of mine is to somehow free up some time to visit the website more often so I can help others more.

I could go on and on because there is so much more. I am thankful for my faith and the hope I have that I am going to get better. Faith and hope keep me from being depressed.

Thank you everyone for being here for me; I will try to be here for you more often.

Hugs to all, Leah from sunny Arizona :hug: :giggle: