Sometimes, I've begun to notice, it's hard for me to tell where Joey ends and I begin.

My day is pretty much planned around him, his scheduled activities, his meals, his meds, his hygiene, even if and when he goes to the bathroom. That's not too bad. I used to work as an RN and that is all very easy for me.

I've observed recently that my emotions are very tied in with his. If, first thing in the morning, he wakes up in a good mood I think, "We're gonna have a good day." If he doesn't I try to figure out what I can do to make it better.

I take him to Rehab...if he'll go...every morning at 9am. If he doesn't want to go I find it so difficult not nagging him into going. I've started dialing the number for him if he'll be late or absent and having him call in for himself. If he does go all I can think is, "I hope he's having a good day." I've started leaving him there unless the staff asks me to stay. I go back at lunch to give him his meds and go back to pick him up. He's on my mind non-stop though. During my time away from him I usually run errands, related to him. Like today I need to drop off the application for handicapped placards at DMV and pick up some documents from the hospital. If I'm not doing that I'm playing nickels at a little store not far from rehab in case he calls, or the school calls. I take a book but I can't concentrate.

I hover. I've gone from a very detached mom to over-protective, I think. I want him to be independent again and I want my own independence back. Even when he spends the night with his girlfriend I find myself hoping he's not having problems in "THAT" area. I have to pull myself back to normal thoughts.

I guess as time goes on and things become more routine a lot of this will pass. But he didn't sleep well last night and I'm trying to figure out the best way to wake him up this morning so he'll want to go to rehab.

Hope he's in a good mood.