Hi Cyndi,

You might want to track down some senior citizen classes or social events at a local senior center to get your dad involved in. He needs to be around people his own age....just an idea for a month or two down the road.

Jean

Thanks Jean!

I have mentioned it to him and he refuses. He says he doesn't want another wife. I told him that it isn't for that, but just to get him out and with other people. He doesn't like people, so I guess that is the problem. Always been that way. But I am ready to scream because he expects me to sit here with him 24/7. Oh well, I will get it worked out.........

My mom died in 1999 of a heart attack after 57 years of marriage. My dad has been like a ship without a rudder. They used to square and round dance together every week...great exercise for the body an the brain. Dad is powerful lonely and needs socializing to keep from going nuts. He goes to the Senior center in town to ballroom dancing....met a lady friend...nothing serious, but Dad is a romantic so I wouldn't be surprised if he asked her to be more permanent. Square and round dancing is out for him...it takes years to learn that skill.

I miss my mom enormeously. I know Dad misses her most. It is hard to lose someone you've known for so long.

I don't know what I can say to encourage you other to say you and your dad are not alone in mourning your mom's passing.

Encourage your dad to go for walks to exercise...helps with a person's mood to get fresh air...especially now that spring is here.

God Bless,

Janice

Cyndi,

My dad was that way for the first 3-4 months after my mom died---didn't want to leave the house. Then the loneliness finally got to him and he started going to senior events. He got so busy we had to buy him an answering machine. He was never home! He finally did find a nice lady that he palled around with for over a decade and that made all our lives richer.

The worst thing I think you could do is sit home with your dad. Either go when you get the urge and leave him home alone (without a guilt trip), or make him go with you every so often. Trick him---meaning if they're having a bake sale or garage sale at the senior hall, take him to it, etc. Of course, if he hates people more than he hates being alone then it won't work, but it's worth a try to ease him into the senior centers.

Jean

The time frame your Dad will grieve has no limit. Just watch for the differences between normal grief and depression. I'm sure there are many sites and books for you to be more prepared to help you both get through this.

I've wondered about what will happen when my Dad is gone. I think that I will volunteer at some of those senior centers, or help them go to the grocery and stuff like that. After so many years of being needed, you get used to the feeling. I would want to feel like there was still a need for me.