kimberly9's Blog

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HEY YA'LL!!!!!!!



since janice (jstern) decided to poke fun at my talkin southern, i decided to let ya'll yankees in on some of our "southern stuff" so's you'd get to know me a little betta. biggrin.gif



we do weird stuff to our food and eat weird things. like, we sweeten our tea( not me but everybody else) and then put a sour lemon in it. we put hot sauce on EVERYTHING. we can't have greens ( turnips) without hamhock in it and cornbread with a raw onion. we eat banana sandwiches with peanut butter on it. we like everything fried. we eat fried green tomatos, okra, chitterlings ( chitlins), grits, fried catfish and hushpuppies. we have LOTS of barbecues and fish frys. when we have a funeral, it looks like a buffet at a family reunion. there's enough food at a southern funeral to feed a russian army. bouncesmile.gif


we SAY weird stuff. like, "he don't know *beep* from shinola". or, "he's such a tight wad you could shove a nickel up his ass and he's try to shake out a dime". or, "bless your pea pickin heart", and "poor thang" and call lunch dinner, and dinner supper, and "i'm up *beep* creek without a paddle", or, "she's a toy shy of a happy meal", or "the good lord willin and the creek don't rise, i'll be there". and "she's teched in the head", or "she's so fat that if she had to haul ass it'd take two trips". or "you know you are a redneck if your porch falls in and more than three yellow dogs die". stuff like that. giggle.gif


we also THINK that certain things are normal down here. like stacking two single wide trailers on top of each other and calling it a "two story". and using duct tape for EVERYTHING even taping up broken out car windows. or that rebel flags and deer heads make for nice wall decorations. and that every man should have a pick up truck with a gun rack, tool box, and at LEAST one dog crate in the back. or that it aint ladylike to walk and smoke at the same time. southern women who smoke are ALWAYS sitting down, if they walk and smoke at the same time it's a sign that they are "loose". happydance.gif


we have weird LAWS too. casinos are illegal, but we have a dog track with slot machines in it that have an electronic bingo card on their face. they call it "bingo winnings", even though in every other respect they are just like vegas. oral sex is illegal down here. there was a big case about it in georgia a few years back where a woman had her husband prosecuted for it and won. it's a law actually on the books. in FACT the only "legal" sex is between a man and a woman of the same race in the missionary position. and interracial marriages are illegal. biggrin2.gif


many of us southern women still have "big hair" and would NEVER paint our fingernails a different shade than our toenails. most of us wouldn't leave the house without lipstick on either. or clean matching underwear in case of an accident. mine were clean and matching when i had the stroke. i would have DIED if the hospital staff would have caught me in underwear that didn't match. yikes.gif


so, there you have it. that about sums it up. life as a southerner. it aint so bad i don't reckon!!!! cocktail.gif ( that cocktail is a mint julip, that's all we drink while we are "swangin" on our front porches)


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Jasmine grew up in Atlanta, moved to New Orleans and we met in San Francisco. I went to Frisco to die because I didn't see anything that I wanted in this world, I chickened out and Jasmine and I hitchhiked to Phoenix, been here ever since.


After our third child was born, we decided that we had enough so from child 4 through 9, different birth control methods were tried and all failed. I figure that

mother nature really wanted us to have so many children. We have been running a hotel since 1970 for children, we even pay them to stay with us as they are growing up.


Children are tops.



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I am glad to see you brought 99.8% of southern life to those otherwise unenlightened souls.


But there is something you overlooked. The definition of an interracial couple, at least in the state of Alabama anyway, is someone who is for Alabama marrying someone who is for Auburn. (I am only kidding here.) beer.gifbiggrin2.gif





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Who or where is Auburn?



What is the mystic about having big hair?

Does that make you more of a woman? Do the menfolk like it?


What is a hamhock?


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Hi Kimberly,


I was shocked to find out that I must have some southern blood in me somewhere. I've been eating fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches since I was a kid.




P.S. Up here, the guys consider duct tape an essential product, too. We have pretty colors. Do you guys down there?

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Auburn refers to Auburn Univerisity which is located in Auburn, Alabama. As to whether it makes you a better man or woman, I couldn't tell you, I graduated from Alabama.


After all, friends don't let friends go to Auburn. beer.gif


I will let Kim handle what a hamhock is.



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I guess I am just a redneck. I do, eat, and say the same things. Oh well, you have just proven what I have already known.



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big hair has always been a southern thing and yes, the men down here do like big hair. they don't want us to have anything above the shoulder, hair wise. my hair isn't as big as it used to be, but it has never been short. we "puff" it up with hairspray which is why it is devastating to run out of spray.


a hamhock is a big fat salty piece of pork used to flavor greens (turnip and collard) among other things. yes, duct tape comes in all kinds of colors down here too. when they use it to tape up broken out car windows, it is usually the ugly gray kind. i think charles answered the auburn-alabama thing.


see, he should know. charles was born in north carolina and grew up in alabama. even though he's become a "traitor" and is impersonating a yankee by living in michigan, he still hasn't forgotten his roots. it's not something easy to forget, by the way.


cyndi, i am glad you didn't need anything explained. jean, you must have some southern blood somewhere to eat peanut butter and banana sanwiches even though you are in michigan too. and rod, i am happy that you married a southern girl. but, what does birth control have to do with being southern? lol.


glad i could enlighten.


kim happydance.gif

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Just skimming blogs I've missed and had to respond to this.


You missed some interesting facts on southern marriages.


In order to get married the couple can't be any closer related than 3rd cousins (actuall question when applying for a marriage license).

The legal age to get married without parental consent is 15.


And now for a tidbit about KY. There was a study done on the amount of inbreeding in this area. It was descovered before highways went through the state the amount of "fresh genes" comming in was so low that the inhabitants married inside their families because there was no other options available.




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thanks michael,


i had forgotten about the cousin thing. we DO have to be 18 in alabama to get married w/o parental consent. it used to be 18 for women and 21 for men, but now i'm pretty sure it's 18 all around. i had'nt heard about the ky study on inbreeding, makes me think of the movie DELIVERENCE. lol. glad you're back!!!!! i'm assuming you were born AFTER the highways came in!!!!!


kim giggle.gif

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liked the lesson on southern life. Don't sound that much different than here except we don't bother to seem nice or friendly, we let the rude rule. Not much big hair here, bare midriffs on young girls seems mandatory. Women up north do expect to be equal. Here in Ma no marriage is against the law. We may be first in that but we won't be last. No I'm not gay but what don't seem like my business isn't. Sorry but I love red neck jokes.

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