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Fufillment. This word has been bouncing around my head, weaving itself in and out of my thoughts today. My thoughts are not of the upbeat positive quality. I think I should stay away from reading philosphy and bits of quantum mechanics and quantum physics before 8 in the morning. It is too heavy and overtaxed the damaged brain I have. That is the only excuse I can find for a sad dark mood today.

I'm impatient today too. I can't use any of my tricks to ignore and not think about the demise of my marriage. I think it is catching up to me, the denial and ignoring what is bothering me. I guess it is time to feel the pain and just grieve the loss. Have a good cry. I don't know why I've been lying to myself that I am fine, I can handle it.


Well talk about veering off the cliff on my original thought. I'll have to tackle fufillment another time!


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whenevr I read your blogs you come out as very strong person, and m little scared of u, i guess we all deal with life's adversity differently, some choose to putyheir head in sand annnd assume problem will go away if they don't pay attention, some fights head on, ieverybody have their own style, i have none



just rambling


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i can not BEGIN to tell you how much i understand what you are going through. even though i hated my first husband's guts, the divorce was still painful and depressing to me, i see it as a failure. in my current marriage, i guess i am in denial that things will get better when i know that they won't.


i am just too tired to get divorced right now and go through all of that depression and gloom. so, i just choose to live in it till i'm ready to admit its over and move on. which is depressing in itself. i feel your pain and i DO hope that things lift for you soon. somehow, they always do.



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Hey Pam......I could be a "biker type" biggrin2.gif

..........and I don't wear spandex except for special occasions.

You do just fine with philosophy too, it just takes more time to chew it and get it digested.

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