hostpam's Blog

  • entries
    191
  • comments
    795
  • views
    19,898

The wonders of a good nights sleep


Guest

790 views

I woke up this morning, the sun is shining and my headache is gone. I also made a decision that I will take the apartment in the victorian too. I have this endless mental list going on, because of setting up a new household, there are so many things I need to buy. I'm getting itchy to get going, because shopping and packing will not be an option for me in the same week. I have to plan around the energy level. One good thing is I don't have to paint the new place. It is all freshly painted a soft dove grey with white trim. I won't have to live with someone elses dirt. I get twitchy about those kinds of things. Now today, I have to call all the utilities and get everything here put in Kurts name.

Last night when I got into bed, I had a huge headache behind my right eye. It hurt so much I had trouble falling asleep, but I finally cleared my mind of all thoughts and I drifted off. I think I've had enough of struggling within myself over things. I've decided that now i is time for me.I need time just to be sad and grieve over the end of this chapter in my life.Because I've also found that the anger I felt carried me a long way.I've let go of the anger and realized that all of this is sad. I have been married for 19 years, that is over half of my life to the same person. I failed and he let the stroke win. Would you believe me if I said he and I have talked more in the last few days then we have in the last three years? Life sure has a twisted sense of humor. Well what will be will be.

Pam

 

I'm adding an update.... My mother is so supportive and unencouraging. She is so negative. She was screeching at me, how would I take care of the animals? Like letting Petey out and feeding him aren't things I do now. Like whats the big deal? Maybe to someone who who is lazy it is a big deal, not me. Then she wants to know how I'll keep an apartment clean? Well duh! I clean this house now, and the apartment is smaller. Cooking? Not a problem, I can live for days off of a large pizza delivered. I don't have to cook big meals anymore, I can eat when I'm hungry, I'm not tied down to a schedule of kids need to eat by 5PM. I'm not tied down to anything. If I feel like housecleaning at night, I can.If I feel like getting up at 3 and cleaning I can. She completely misses the point of living alone. The beauty, the freedom. It is like a snow day. I'm no longer accountable to anything over my time and days.See, it drives her crazy cause she places all these restrictions on herself. I don't.Besides I give her plenty of things to chew on and talk about, gossip, and bitch about. Oourse she was back to the old peoples independent living community. I told her, you weant to live there that's fine, I'm not, I'll pay all ythat money a month to be left alone. I don't need bored nosy senior citizens bugging me. Besides, I may get some interesting neighbors. It will be an adventure. I think I may have too much furniture. You know shopping in my own house, I think I got carried away.

9 Comments


Recommended Comments

 

 

Hey, Pam, I was with you all the way until you made that "nosey senior citizen" remark. We're not all nosey! Then I thought well, heck, I am a senior citizen and I read other people's blog. How much nosier can a person get? biggrin.gif

 

Let us know when you're ready for a virtual shower. I'm happy that you're getting really comfortable with the move and everything that entails. Your mom will 'grow up' about it, I'm sure.

 

Jean pash.gif

Link to comment

Hi Pam,

 

I'm truly excited for you. It is a new adventure and time to face forward.

Just from reading your posts and blogs I know you can do whatever you set out too. Tune your mother out...she's filled with negative energy!

 

This victorian home sounds so wonderful. Within no time, you'll have it as your home...your own space...how wonderful!

 

Congratulations and lots of good, good luck!

 

Always,

 

Linda

Link to comment

Pam, you are an inspiration to anyone starting over, no matter the reason. So many parts of your life are changing, but through it all you remain in charge. I would like to see category to your blog entitled "the move", so you can document step by step all the things that it entails and problems you came up against.

 

I hope Mom is just worried, and has so little tact that it comes out as negative. I deal with it too concerning Dad. I've learned to just ignore people and do what I want. I tell them, that even though I appreciate their opinion, It has no bearing on what I think is best. After a bit, they stop saying stuff.

 

PS. Does this mean I have a year to provide the spindles for the barn? And don't forget the shoddy chairs...

Link to comment

Pam:

you won't believe it through your blogs I m getting excited about your move to new apartment, I know you can handle anything and eerything, and in this journey of life everything is wonderful, even stroke is you are going to have wonderful apartment by yurself with beautiful catskill mountain view, now that you will move on with your new life maybe you and kutz will be good friends.

 

goodluck in your new chapter of life

 

we are always here for you,

Asha

Link to comment

Thanks for the support, I needed that, it meant alot to me. Cinder, yes you have a whole year for my spindles and shoddy chairs. Do I need to put down a deposit? Can it wait for a few months? I'm abit strapped for cash right now.

Pam

Link to comment

Hi Pam:

 

I am so excited that you are getting your own 'domain'. The biggest 'comeback' for a stroke survivor is their feeling of independence. Your new apartment sounds wonderful, with such a view of a beautiful, picturesque, serene view. Just be careful moving stuff, I don't need you 'over-exerting' yourself. I'm not being 'bossy' I am just showing my concern.

 

Denny

Link to comment

i am SO happy for you. you are about to live the life of my fantasies. i wish you the very best pam, i really do. one day, when i get the guts, maybe i can copy cat you!!!!! my mother can be negative and unencouraging at times too treating me like i'm 17 instead of 42. it's SO frustrating.

 

my best

kim

Link to comment

From someone who's at the butt end of a move....Good luck!

 

I waited until after the packing and moving before I did the shopping. It let me see how what I have could be improved. Though I bought a new bathroom set for the master bath. Had to go with rubber duckies. Kathy had a small collection I didn't know about, so I decorated the bathroom around them.

 

My mom was discouraging thoughout the move and even now after the move. Just nod your head say "yes mother" a lot and sigh a breath of relief when you can finally get away.

 

Hope for the best;

 

Michael

Link to comment

Pam,

I wish I would have read this sooner. My God, I cannot express how happy I am for you. You are without a doubt a pillar of strength. This entry and the replies brought tears to my eyes. I know, I'm mushy but I can't help the excitement I feel for you. This is truly a lifting experience. I would love to come help you move, I could carry the heavy stuff and you could boss me around......BUT....New York? brrrrrrrrr. LOL. biggrin.gif

You're the best. pash.gif

Cindy

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.