The wonders of a good nights sleep
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I woke up this morning, the sun is shining and my headache is gone. I also made a decision that I will take the apartment in the victorian too. I have this endless mental list going on, because of setting up a new household, there are so many things I need to buy. I'm getting itchy to get going, because shopping and packing will not be an option for me in the same week. I have to plan around the energy level. One good thing is I don't have to paint the new place. It is all freshly painted a soft dove grey with white trim. I won't have to live with someone elses dirt. I get twitchy about those kinds of things. Now today, I have to call all the utilities and get everything here put in Kurts name.
Last night when I got into bed, I had a huge headache behind my right eye. It hurt so much I had trouble falling asleep, but I finally cleared my mind of all thoughts and I drifted off. I think I've had enough of struggling within myself over things. I've decided that now i is time for me.I need time just to be sad and grieve over the end of this chapter in my life.Because I've also found that the anger I felt carried me a long way.I've let go of the anger and realized that all of this is sad. I have been married for 19 years, that is over half of my life to the same person. I failed and he let the stroke win. Would you believe me if I said he and I have talked more in the last few days then we have in the last three years? Life sure has a twisted sense of humor. Well what will be will be.
Pam
I'm adding an update.... My mother is so supportive and unencouraging. She is so negative. She was screeching at me, how would I take care of the animals? Like letting Petey out and feeding him aren't things I do now. Like whats the big deal? Maybe to someone who who is lazy it is a big deal, not me. Then she wants to know how I'll keep an apartment clean? Well duh! I clean this house now, and the apartment is smaller. Cooking? Not a problem, I can live for days off of a large pizza delivered. I don't have to cook big meals anymore, I can eat when I'm hungry, I'm not tied down to a schedule of kids need to eat by 5PM. I'm not tied down to anything. If I feel like housecleaning at night, I can.If I feel like getting up at 3 and cleaning I can. She completely misses the point of living alone. The beauty, the freedom. It is like a snow day. I'm no longer accountable to anything over my time and days.See, it drives her crazy cause she places all these restrictions on herself. I don't.Besides I give her plenty of things to chew on and talk about, gossip, and bitch about. Oourse she was back to the old peoples independent living community. I told her, you weant to live there that's fine, I'm not, I'll pay all ythat money a month to be left alone. I don't need bored nosy senior citizens bugging me. Besides, I may get some interesting neighbors. It will be an adventure. I think I may have too much furniture. You know shopping in my own house, I think I got carried away.
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