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Stroke support is key to healing.


Michael

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I thought since I had such a mild stroke, I could deal with it's after effects myself. For over a year after returning to work as a road sales manager, the stress to keep up and empty alone feeling got the best of me and after being called in for a review, I informed my supervisor I refused to drive more than four hours daily in fear of another stroke, was relived of my duties (fired). The following day I had a gran mal seizure. At the time, I did not realize, I brought it, the stress and seizure, on myself. I was keeping all the "stroke feelings" (emptiness, sadness, grief) bottled up inside. I had also just been through a divorce a month after the stroke. Instead of letting my feelings be known, I just "manned up" and pressed forward. It is now I realize recovery; even from a very mild stroke cannot be done without support. I bumped along for the two years following the stroke but only recently am feeling much better about things. I attribute much of it to support I've gotten on this site. I had refused to accept myself, the person I had become post-stroke. The stupid part is I had so little change to accept. My only real problem was depression and that bleeping alone feeling which to this day has not gone away. I was on medication, which made the depression ease, but I was always a little foggy. I finally convinced my current doctor to give me a plan to wean me off the anti-depressives. I am no longer taking them. I guess I'm still a little depressed, but at least I'm not cloudy all the time in my head. The depression I am currently experiencing is very slight and something I can deal with using prayer and exercise (walking). I am trying to dwell on the good, and be grateful I am doing as well as I am. I've said it before and will say it many more times. I got off easy. When I think of the circumstances of my episode, I am lucky to just be alive Not that my stroke was so serious, it was minor, but I was unattended in my car for 26 hours after it, that's the wow part. I guess there really are angels among us. Currently I live in Charlottesville, Virginia, population 40,000 city wise, 100,000 countywide and I cannot find a stroke support group. I am grateful I found StrokeNet. My healing is on going and largely due to the love of a really good lady I met and support from my friends here at StrokeNet. I don't know where I'd be without it. As I have reached the point where I know I have lived longer that I shall live on this earth I am a little less concerned with possessions and more with relationships / friendships. I have and continue to make friends here, how wonderful and supportive.

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Isn't it amazing how differently we see things during each decade of life?? I would take health over possessions any day but that only came with age and illness.

 

Keep on blogging...I can see the healing happening.

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Hey Leppy, ya got a sec?

 

I must tell ya your emotional honesty is both admirable and inspiring.

That emptiness and loneliness cuts to the core i so know what you mean.

I don't know if it ever completely goes away, but it does get better. I find it is not a straight

line of progression. For me it seems to come and go. I have bad periods but their frequency is not like it was in the first several months after stroke when it seemed virtually constant.

 

Keep on sharing Leppy, it helps the rest of us also.

Good for you.

 

Brian

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Hey Leppy, as a caregivr for me it is not emptiness it is a kind of wariness, that feeling that bad things can happen, suddenly out of the blue and change your life forever like Ray having the two major strokes in 1999 did for us.

 

For me too Strokenet has been a haven, a place where people really do understand what Ray has gone through as a survivor and what I go through as his carer. Outside of here people don't understand any of this.

 

Keep on sorting your life out, there is plenty of sunshine ahead.

 

Sue.

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hey leppy:

 

your blogs are so honest I feel like you are reading my mind in begining years of my stroke. I will tell you this since I am standing at the end of tunnel. things will become easier. don't you ever feel bad or guilty of getting off lightly. each of us has our own burdens to carry & none of us can judge others burden as better or worse. God gives us all strength to carry our burdens.

 

I enjoy your blogs.

 

Asha

 

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Hi Leppy

We are glad you are here but some time it is accually nice to speak to someone in person. You said you don't have a support group where you live.

I looked on the internet and found this for you:Stroke Support Group "Comeback Club", Sponsored by Morningside of Charlottesville (Contact: Alexes Echols, Director of Marketing) 434-971-8889. God only gives up what we can handle.

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