Where's the anger when you need it? In my three years post stroke, I've found that my survivor anger was huge and it was a motivator for me. But I also found out that the anger was a negative force of energy that was draining me. So I let it all go, released it, took a deep breath and felt much better. Now during this period of loads and gobs of survivor anger, I made some life altering decisions. I decided that I wanted a divorce from this man I was married to, who turned out to be more needy then I was and basically emotionally left me three years ago. Oh to be fair, he wanted to stay together for at least 10 more years for the kids... blah blah. But staying with him for 10 more years is the equivalent of George W in office for four more years, just on a personal level. He offered me a life sentence of nothing. I couldn't overcome my distaste at that thought. We didn't talk, we didn't go anywhere. It was just easy to have me around to clean, cook and be here for the kids. He viewed me in terms of a large boulder around his neck, he didn't even want me to go to the grocery store with him.... so I looked at another decade with him in horror. Of course I was thinking this from behind the anger. But these decisions are better made and followed threw with anger, it is easier that way. I think, I don't know for sure.

Anyway this paragraph is not a joke, I am taking a leave of absence for the entire month of May. I need to get my head around many things and just let the emotions out. So I may blog during May and I may not, it all depends.

Pam