Ruth, get out of the house more, find a support group that will accept that you have to bring him along or find a Daycare centre where you can just drop him off for the time you are at the group. You need support.

I've read elsewhere that sometimes smaller nursing homes will contract to take people who are nursing home level on a daily basis. I don't know if you could find one of those but it is worth asking around and finding out if they do a daily rate. I know where my Mum was has offered to do that on a casual basis if I have to deal with mum going into hospital again. Last time I had to go for three hours a day for three weeks to feed her and still take Ray as I had no minder.

I was reading your blog and thinking of a wise reply when Ray did his stumbling out of a dark room to go to the bathroom act but of course it was already too late. So I put my thoughts for you on hold and now they are all gone. So I guess all I can say is we have to learn to cope hour by hour, day by day. This is the rest of our lives and we have to treasure what we can.

(((Hugs))) from a fellow sufferer....Sue.

Thanks for the thought, Sue. I have been thinking about you and your struggles much of the night. In fact (looking at the time stamp on your post) it may have been about the same time Dick too came stumbling out headed to the bathroom. Two men - opposites sides of the world - too late!! Gotta have a sense of humor there.

I have been working for a few years now on getting support and out of the house more. Hard to believe that in an area as populated as this there seem to be no active caregiver support groups. I've been looking at the Alzheimer's groups but they do not want Dick to attend. I think that might defeat the purpose anyhow as well as upset him in yet another way. There are day cares available but at a cost beyond our means or we are still on a waiting list. We have applied for a Medicaide Waiver for Dick, which would cover cost of additional home care as well as day care. But with our health system in such a mess we are one of too many trying to draw on government funds. At the same time we are losing some of the benefits we do have with the VA due to the same lack of funds.

So, yeah, I have listened to your advice, value it, and acted on it. Until things start coming through, I guess every once in a while it helps to "tell" someone. Like you said in a recent blog, the people around use don't want to hear just believe we have such a nice life.

Hugs back