Decision Made
The decision is made. Now comes all the second guessing and self-doubt and the.....
I decided that the time has come for my husband to be moved to a nursing home. This is one of the hardest things that I have had to do since his stroke Jan 2, 2005. I have fought hard to keep him home and give him the best life I could. However, his vascular dementia is progressing and people are getting hurt. I guess I have pushed myself to add this to a blog just in case someone else reaches this point as well.
It sure is not the "easy way out". The decision was hard and painful. But surprisingly now that it has been made it is easier to live with than I expected. Without much support I must trust the opinions and observations of my family and the health care group. That gives me courage.
Our first choice for nursing home fell through. Now the VA is helping us check out other places nearby. The Medicare website has a rating of care facilities which you can search. Those ratings are a big help in knowing which places to pursue. This is a time to take all the help I can.
I dread the day I must tell him. He will not understand I am sure. And I wonder how many times I will have to break the news to him because he can forget in just a few minutes.
No time to feel sorry for myself though. Just when I felt I could not take more my father ended up in the hospital facing surgery. A determination to care for him shows me that there is more strength left in me.
But just in case I'm trying to think of a treat for myself and the last of my girls at home. Something we have not been able to do because of needing to be home taking care of my husband. Something to look forward to. Something to remind us that life goes on.
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