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Making the Move to the Nursing Facility



Saturday was moving day. I have to say that moving my husband into the nursing home went far smoother than I ever thought possible. This was the day I had said would never happen. But life had other plans for us. My imagination painted a dreadful picture of what that transition would be like. Most of the time I am grateful for my imagination but this time reality was much better.


I had dreaded telling my husband that he was going to have to make this move. But several days ahead he had a short period of clear thinking of which I took advantage. He of course said NO but it was without great conviction. I learned that there was a part of his understanding left that acknowledged the necessity of this step. I again found an opportunity to explain further details the day before the move. He stated emphatically,


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Ruth, keep on posting as the weeks go by as you are still a caregiver only in a different way now. We need to see that people can survive this transition which we will all make "one day".


It will be very hard for you at first, particularly when you hit certain milestones and it clicks in suddenly that this is a "permanent" arrangement as opposed to you having some time off as you do in respite periods and Dick coming back home again.


I follow another dementia board and that has been helpful as I see a lot of people have to eventually put the person they care for at home into permanent care as the 24 hours a day burden gets too much for them. I need to constantly read their stories to assure myself that this too is part of the progress of the disease that started with a single stroke.


(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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Ruth-I am so thankful that the move went well for you and Dick. As time goes on, he will become more adjusted and to rely on his caregivers. We all know how important routine is for a stroke survivor and that at least Dick will get. You were incredible in your pre-move planning and it sounds like it paid off. Good for your daughter, what a special person. My heart broke for you and I think I cried for two days thinking of the pain you were in, but you put Dick's needs first and for that you are a very special wife and lover. Join us in chat when Sue returns and let us know how you are doing. All my prayers, Debbie

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