Retired Caretaker
I know that in the past I have always agreed with the statement that even though your loved one is in a nursing facility, you are still a caregiver. But now that it is my turn I must say I feel like I have retired.
One could say that I did a lot of worrying for nothing or you could say all my worry paid off! I never imagined that this time of transition would go so smoothly. Dick is settling into his new environment quite contentedly. He has yet to ask to return home. I took some pictures etc. to decorate his room and he was excited to see everything and help direct the decorating process. I'm learning to decorate for the man he is now rather than the picky interior decorator he once was. It is finally sinking into my brain that he no longer sees the details and just enjoys doing it together. I am told he has tried activities that I have been unsuccessful at getting to do for several years. And he always has some long tale to tell about someone when I see him. On those days I do not go for a visit, he has learned to call me on the phone.
I do not let my mind dwell on the separation too much. Instead I focus on doing things that I have been unable to do for a long time. This week it has been spring cleaning. My daughter and I are rearranging things to reflect the changes in our lifestyle. The spring decorating has a decided feminine look. I am enjoying putting some of the frills back into my home. This evening I tackled Dick's bedroom. I am reclaiming it as a guest room. This has been a big hurdle I have forced myself to take on. I am accepting the fact that he will never need things like cowboy boots and muclucs again and trying to see how much space we can have by giving up such things. It will be a real treat for my 2nd daughter when she comes home for Easter and finds a new room ready for her.
Admittedly you have had to deal with a lot of negative blogs from me. The last year has been a real struggle physically, emotionally and financially. Now that I do not have to care for Dick 24/7 I have time to address some of the tasks that need to be done as well as spend some much needed down time. I'm actually sleeping at night! And have the energy that seemed oft times completely dried up.
I gues the biggest message I would like to share with anyone out there faced with caregiving becoming too difficult and nursing to scary, it reallys can be the best thing for your family to consider long-term care. I swore I would never do it because I had a preconceived idea what it would be like. That fear paralyzed me for a long time. Keep your loved one home as long as you can but if the time comes when he or she needs more than you can provide I home you are encouraged that it is not as bad a it may seem.
Sorry this blog is not proofed and planned out well but I wanted to post again just in case someone else can be encouraged by our esperience.
No, I don't feel like a caregiver right now. That is because such a huge load of responsibility has been lifted from my shoulders . I am in truth still caring for my husband. He is a part of my daily liffe. We stay in touch. He needs me for differnt things now. I'm learning to let the professionals do their job. Sure I watch and question but so far they have done just fine. I don't need to micro-manage.
Ruth
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