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Where from here?


Ethyl17

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I hesitate to blog this week because with all the changes, I was not sure where we were at. Bruce has a follow up with all of his Docs this month. PCP was first and he was kind enough to add a sleeping pill. We are at day three and no change yet but nothing earlier than 2:30 am either. Also he complained to a friend just today that he himself feels he needs more sleep. He still can not nap but does rest in bed for a half hour every day. He continues to go to work several times a week for a few hours and still loves it. Will continue with the Psychologist for now and I am looking into more Stroke Support groups in the area, he so liked the one at his Rehab. He continues with his list of daily duties and is becoming more and more independent with them. Still tough getting him to walk and a co-worker has offered her Dad's scooter. I find it so hard to accept that he will not walk. His custom WC is due in week of July 4th and this week we will be working on using the urinal sitting down and sitting in his regular chair at work as I will not be able to transport his new chair and I feel the travel chair is just too lightweight to handle the carpet in work. I am just reflecting on where we go from here. It is so hard to think that I will never have any more than this and just to accept that. I get so sad thinking of all we had and what now is left. My days are spent managing things here (today I had to fix the gas range, fortunately I found the manual) and tending to those things Bruce needs. I just sit down with a cup of coffee and the newspaper or try to read a book for a bit when the next issue crops up. But I must say I have accepted that-no more fights or arguing, as my Mary Beth says "It is what it is" and so I move on. I sit with my Kira and at least one living thing appreciates me. She walks with me in the yard when I need a time out, almost like she knows or senses. And so I reflect on last week and wonder what the new week brings. Debbie

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Debbie life is never going to be perfect but as long as it is do-able you will manage just fine. I am glad you have found the last few months a learning expereince and are now in a better place. It is the most we can do - find acceptance.

 

Sue.

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Debbie,

I had an electric wheelchair given to us by a friend. We don't use it much. William doesn't like to drive it. I truly believe that Bruce will continue to improve. It is a slow process. But, yes we need to accept where we are today. We live life for today.

You and Bruce are enjoying what your life is today. Tomorrow is a surprise...a gift from God. Truly, we don't have what we used to have or would like to have. But, we do have today. Acceptance of what today is. Possibly, Sue is correct. acceptance.

The brain is an amazing thing. It is just slow in getting rewired. I heard that the Dr. in a stroke of Insight took 10 years to get better. that is along time.

 

Ruth

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