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God Sons, Dads and friends


Ethyl17

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Happy Father's Day all. My Dad was older when he married (30). He was the youngest child of 3 and a change of life baby. He was sent to live with an Aunt and really did not return home to his own family until a teenager. My Grandfather was also in a questionable business, which may also have played in the decision making. He met my Mom, married and had me a year later. I am the first of seven. The babies 10 years my younger are twins. From the get go he adored being a Father. I have no clue what kind of husband he was, but he loved his babies. We lost him to a cardiac arrhythmia at 55. To this day not a day goes by where I don't think of him and smile. He was a remarkable man and even Bruce used to say, you talk about this man like you lost him yesterday and it has been 28 years. I say this only because today Bruce's closest friends came for a cookout. Dan, Bruce's Godson, is very devoted. He can not do enough for us. He always comes with a Father's Day gift, since he was a baby. Bruce met Dan's Dad in Grad School and then of course, his wife. Actually if I was to say who was Bruce's best friend, it would be the wife. They are devoted to each other and while Bob stimulates Bruce on an intellectual level that no one else can, Pat is his buddy. They too are distressed at the backward trend Bruce is going through. Especially Dan, who was first to do all transfers, take him for a ride, work with him on his speech. He has been away to college and is now home for the summer, so we see him on at least an every two or three day basis. He came one night on one of my emergency calls when Bruce was first home. Bruce wanted to go to the toilet, not something manageable at that time, except Dan got him into the WC and onto the toilet. Ah, such is the strength and confidence of being 19. Anyway, Bob was doing the cooking and I prepped stuff for him of course. I said to him when they were leaving, you remind of my Dad and that's why it is so easy to prep for you. You do things just like my Dad did. Pat did say to me that I was doing a remarkable job, but if this is what Bruce wants it is time for me to move on with my life. Something I will have to ponder. I must say it was nice to have guests and prepare for them, not just let them bring stuff in. The deck was clean, tablecloth, silverware, good music. Kinda like the old times. It made the week manageable. One thing Dan did say was he is going to make a dump run for me with the yard clippings. But since the pile had grown bigger since Thursday, to please stop cutting things down. Bruce laughed. This was one of the things we used to laugh about. He grew, I was Agent Orange. But it is so therapeutic! Hope all had a great day.

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Debbie,

It sounds like you had a wonderful day. Dan sounds like a gift from God. How blessed you both are. It is nice to have a normal type of gathering.

 

Bruce may turn around yet. " the jury is still out".

 

I had to work today.

 

Ruth

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Debbie, our Fathers Day is the second Sunday in September so it is often around Ray's birthday which is 8th September so we used to celebrate both together in our "come for a family BBQ" days. My Dad died 2nd of January 2000 but I will miss him for life and that is how it should be when a good man goes.

 

The 19 year old is in the "moving on" generation, I am in the "stay and make a go of it" generation, we are poles apart. Bob and Pat may be in the generation in between which had a different basis for decision making to what I do. Dan sounds like a likable and caring kind of guy. I am glad you have such good friends in your life. We need friends to keep us going.

 

An old friend of Mum's said that taking advice is like eating chicken off the bone, you eat what is good and throw the rest away. You'll know what is good for you and what is best for Bruce too.

 

Sue.

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