Woke up after 2.5 hours of sleep with a panic attack. Nothing new but it is an awful feeling. I quickly calmed myself down and went back to sleep when my heart rate slowed. I have no idea why this happens almost every night. I slept a total of 5 hours last night.

The fast heart rate during panic attack is nothing like when I had the anxiety attack a couple of weeks ago (I also had one when I was 21, 17 years ago). I want to be very clear about this. When I had the anxiety attack, the pumping of my heart was extremely fast and I could feel it pounding as if it would wear out. It was a very forceful coarsing, thumping heartbeat. Afterwards my chest was sore for about two days. Panic attacks have never produced this intense of an event from my heart. So when I speak of panic attacks, I am not referring to "anxiety attack". Panic attacks produce a very fast heart rate with me but the heart rate itself is not scary at all and does not feel as distressing or feel like it is going to pump out of my chest.

Today has been moderately active and an overall good day. I cooked and it is aggravating using the lefty as usual but I am pushing through the weirdness due to my commenting friends here and their expert advice.

I hope to sleep well tonight because I have a busy week ahead. Searching for some medical help is a daunting task and I hate paperwork. I have no idea how I will pay my bills or where I will live after July. It's difficult to keep stress levels down with so many unknown changes possible in the near future.