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Stephen's minister



I will be getting a Stephen's minister and so will William. I was describing my life to the counselor and she could not believe that i do so much. She said that with my schedule the minister would have to get in touch with me at 1AM in the morning. I told her that that is about the case.


I shared with her about William's stroke journey. She said that i did not talk much about myself. I am so focused on William's therapy and recovery that i do not focus on myself. She said that it was amazing that I am so energetic and happy. God has blessed me with the energy and knowledge to take care of William. I am in the health care profession and therefore all ready have a tendency toward caregiving.


I know that I ask very little for myself. This is a good thing now that william needs so much.


If I were to talk about my feelings, I would say that I am angry at only one person. William's sister gives us lip service about how grateful she is that I am there for William. She knows that it is hard but is not suggesting that she come and help us. I really do not expect her to help. But, i also do not want to get on the phone and appease her guilt for not coming and helping. william wants me to talk to her but, I have so many things to do. I really don't want to use what valuable time I do have and spend it making her feel good.


My son is very busy in his residency in New York city, He doen't have the time to help us. William's son is busy traveling for work. he doesn't have time to help us. William's mom and dad are deceased. He only has the one sister. My family disowned me years ago. I only have my son.


She was amazed that I am so happy and energetic. I guess that it takes very little to make me happy.


I suggested that we both get Stephen ministers and we could go out for lunch after church. William and his minister and me and mine. She will work this out. This may be a very good thing for both of us.



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Ruth: we have our hands full with our one person, let alone taking responsibility for someone else. I grow tired of making excuses for other people who should know better. And am still surprised at the ones who stepped up and still step up. The closest Bruce has to a brother came to visit today. He is out of work and doing his very best at home trying to help out with a working wife and three kids and yet he took time to come and visit with Bruce. We move on and work towards recovery both in our person and ourselves and that is the best we can ask of ourselves. You were right, things became dramatically easier at 16 months, but there is still so much more work to do and no end in sight. We had a power outtage tonight, and hre I am trying to find a safe receptacle for a candle for the bedroom, turning off everything so when the power goes back on Bruce is not startled, putting the flashlights and a cell phone where, if I fall asleep, I will remember where they are and I am thinking I have had nothing to eat since breakfast and just want to go to bed. But, we are safe and that is now my responsibility. Onward, Debbie

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Not sure I understand this Stephen's minister you are speaking about getting one for you and one for William. If you can't say here, call me!


I hope you are not having to pay out of pocket and then get expensive charges with no good results?

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You post so positively Ruth and that is very encouraging to me as in our position I find it hard to be positive all the time.


The Stephen ministry is a good idea, I read a bit on the website:


"Stephen Ministries is a complete system for training and organizing lay people to provide one-to-one Christian care to hurting people in and around your congregation."


I used to do home visits and take communion to shut-ins as part of my pastoral ministry 1996 - 1999 in the Anglican (Episcopalian) church. Home communions with a regular visitation by a licensed layperson is common here but a service often not thought about in a situation where stroke or another illness makes church attendance problematic. I'm glad you were able to tap into this.


Hope William keeps improving for you, making your caregiver role easier to manage.



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