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summer selfishness season


swilkinson

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The season of good will is over for another year. We had two close encounters with cars on our way to my sisters around noon today, both cars forcing their way into traffic where they should have waited. The season of summer selfishness has begun.

 

We did have a good Christmas Day though. We went to church at our usual time and then off to see Mum. She was mostly asleep so we only stayed a short time and then came home as planned. We had some morning tea and I got us a great lunch, seafood done as a Mornay with fresh salads, followed by fresh fruit salad and Ray had ice cream. Ray had an afternoon nap and I watched an old Christmas movie as you do Christmas afternoon.

 

Trevor came over with the pork roast about 4.30pm. By then I had cooked caramelized vegetables to go with the roast beef and chicken I had cooked earlier. We were just sitting around chatting and I heard a familiar baritone singing Christmas carols out the front. Our son-in-law, daughter and family had surprised us, arriving at 5.30pm after having done a Christmas service in the citadel at Shell Harbour and had lunch with his mother and brother in Sydney.

 

We had a lovely evening meal, nibbles first and when Edie arrived back from work at about 8pm we had an evening meal. The kids who had been eating all day, only had to have some meat and then were allowed dessert as Christmas brings special privileges. It was lovely to find out Shirley and family planned to stay overnight. They left to go south again after going to church with us this morning.

 

We all have good days and bad days, I have to admit to that too. Because of Ray’s health worries I feel as if life is getting me down again. It isn't as good as I'd like it to be right now. Ray has the bad heel, he is likely to continue to have vascular problems caused by diabetes, the doctor says there is nothing we can do about it. He might not heal; he might lose his leg etc. I get so tired of supporting him in all of this. I really just want to walk away from it but that is not fair to him. We said for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.

 

After church we went to my sister's place, a lovely five bedroom home set on an acreage. We went with our younger son and his family, our older son was also there. He hardly spoke to us. He and his family didn't come to see us yesterday for Christmas Day. He seems to want to separate himself and family from us. Both our sons were raised with love. I wonder what happens to that love, does it fade and die in some people?

 

My sister and her family gather on Boxing Day each year to celebrate together. There is always lots of food and laughter. Our nieces and nephews and their families all treat us kindly. I guess they have their own lives and don't think of us much but always seem glad when we appear among them. Surprisingly they are all church going families. They have interests like music and community building. I would say on the whole that theirs is not as devoted a generation as we were to values and family etc. But I guess they are the exception as is Shirley and family. I think Trevor and Edie have the same potential.

 

I have been brooding about the apparent lack of interest in us of our older son and his family. I love all my grandchildren but I can’t mind the little boys. I’ve blogged about that before. So of course we are not useful to them now. I have to get over all of this as I can't afford to carry a load of bitterness as I need to use all my energies on Ray's health issues. The family problems will have to resolve themselves.

 

Sometimes I wish there was more I could do to solve the problems of the rest of the world but I can't even manage my own.

 

My sister gave me a nice surprise. A picture of the two of us aged 15 and 18 ready to go to a ball. Of course the photo was black and white but she remembered her dress was blue background, white polka dots with a blue satin sash and mine she thought was pink but I remembered it was apple green, Empire line with a tiny train as it had formerly been a bridesmaid's frock, a friend gave it to me.

 

Those memories of happier times sustain us when the going gets tough. We are lucky to have someone share them with us to remind us that we were once much different to what we are today.

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Hi Sue. I'm glad you had a happy Christmas. I enjoy reading your posts as you seem to do a lot with your families. I just recently heard of "Boxing Day" from a friend. My daughter dates a guy from England although he now lives and works in Michigan. He is spending his time with his family in England. My daughter was there this summer and met his family and their relatives. It's a beautiful country - very green. I try to keep smiling when our mixed families get together although it is hard sometimes. This is our second marriage so stepchildren are in the picture. My kids seem to be more supportive of our situation than Larry's. I know they are busy but...The other day my husband's son said "well you never ask us to do anything" to which my son said "just ask them". That has been the story even long before Larry's stroke. What can you do, you just have to keep the peace even though you want to scream sometimes. I'm sorry Ray is having problems but hopefully things will get better for you soon. Take care of yourself.

Julie

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Sue,

 

I know what you mean when you mention your son. I too have a son who lives in Iowa with his wife and my two grandkids.

 

We see him on Skype which is a help to talk with him and see the grandkids. I miss him a lot. He too was brought up with love. But we have lost that close bond we once had.

 

Cheer up - you always cheer me up. I hope Ray gets better too. Love you - Mary

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Sue,

Yes the season of good will has passed. This is a very stressful time for most people.

I hope that Ray's health doesn't continue to disintegrate,,,I can only imagine how stressful that is for you. What a worry.

Sue you have your hands fuls with your Mum and Ray. Other matters of the family will have to sort them selves out.

Sometimes, I feel that way. Just walk away....

 

But, that would not be fair. Life throws us some obstacles...we deal with them.

 

I do hope that the New Year brings us some good news.

 

Ruth

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Sue: I was bound and determined to make this Christmas wonderful for Bruce and I regardless of the coal that was placed in our stockings.

 

We had friends in, those who asked if they could come; good food, music. I think my expectations for the previous holidays were too high. Still in that "before" mode. Bruce's friend took a picture of the tree and mantle and said to me come see this (digital camera), it is beautiful and she was right, picture perfect and here I am feeling bad I had down scaled it too much. Kept Bruce to his routine, so no confusion and took him to kitchen to help me, knowing now that even if he offered to help, he would not remembeer it later. And we had a blast. His scalloped potatoes were surperb and he was so proud. Foot of snow overnight, but all visitors arrived back home safely. Neighbor helped me with the snow clearance and I did not expect nor did I get any other help. But thoroughly enjoyed it once the sun came out. Am tired and sore tonight, but for me, at least, snow shoveling is very therapeutic. Kira is not well, the seizures are coming more often and lasting longer. So I suffer some angst: last night with the blizzard and hoping no damage to the house and tonight with my Kira, who is at least now, sleeping peacefully next to me.

 

I pray to get to that place where I can emotionally deal well with the disappointments and not dwell on the "what ifs" or "where are theys". And when Bruce smiles and gives me a hug, I know life is still good. Debbie

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Sue, Glad you had a nice Christmas. As for your older son, forgive him and his wife. Let me expand my comment: forgiveness, is a spiritual practice, person does not ave to be present, it all takes place in the mind. Hand it over to the Holy Ghost and step back. That's my advice. And listen to that soft quite voice give you direction

remembertolaugh, Jeannie:cocktail:

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