Ray's current problems
Entry posted by swilkinson
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I always blog when I have thought about an event and the impact has lessened. It is horrible to start a blog with: Ray might lose his leg. But that was the bottom line of our appointment with the podiatrist yesterday.
The podiatrist did a lot of tests; we were with him for an hour and twenty minutes. He started off saying he could lance the diabetic blister on Ray’s left heel and finished up saying he couldn’t. Ray’s circulation is weak in both feet, a result of the diabetes not the strokes. But the strokes have contributed as his mobility is so poor and he doesn’t exercise enough to make a difference.
We had an appointment to see the orthoptist, the man who actually makes the AFO (ankle-knee orthoptic or leg brace for those who don’t know). He talked to us and said the situation was bad he kept repeating this until I wanted to scream. I do know poor circulation plus leg ulcers or an infected diabetic blister equals amputation.
Then he got the podiatrist to come in and they said they will form a team to oversee Ray’s care and I could see the podiatrist in two weeks time and the orthoptist if I needed to. The podiatrist gave me a dressing to put on the blister if it bursts and said to ring and ask for him rather than just going to Accident and Emergency. We talked briefly about seeing a vascular surgeon if we needed to and it was over for this visit. I was devastated, Ray was unaware of what we had discussed as usual.
I know there are some things in life you can’t control but I am in the habit of banging my head against the current brick wall. It is my Irish bravado and my Scottish stubbornness. I can never give up without a fight. It is the only way I can handle things. I emailed Debbie and she sent me a “wait and see “ answer. That is the right thing to do. I need to just let nature take it’s course and things might work out okay.
So I am confined to barracks more or less for another six weeks. For Ray that is okay while the sun is shining and he can go out on his verandah in the morning and do his word puzzles. It is me that will miss going out, our plans for the beach and the picnics by the lake etc all out the window now. But whatever will be will be.
I have tentatively booked some respite for Ray in February, I figure by then I will be climbing walls. It is only the usual two weeks but by then I might be needing a time in an asylum, if there is still one of those around. I could quite easily go mad with just Ray and me and nowhere to go. All the respite places he goes to are booked up till then and I didn’t want to put him in somewhere he hasn’t previously been.
I have been worried about Ray and so haven’t really been paying attention here as much as I usually do. I apologize to anyone whose blog I haven’t commented on, or whose post I have failed to answer in my usual way. I do love you and pray for you but my mind has been trapped here for a while.
I have told our three children, I told them of the possibility and the present reality. It is all I can do and then “wait and see”. I will mourn my lost summer when all of this is over
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