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better days



I finally got a full night’s sleep. Since Ray has had the heel problem he has been sleeping on his back with his foot over a bolster. This means that he snores more and his funny breathing is back. I don’t know if it is actually sleep apnea but it certainly is one of those snoring episodes that goes silent and then a cross between a snort and a shout signals he is breathing again. Last night he slept on his side and all was quiet. What bliss!


I have been really, really tired the past few days, in fact by three o’clock I feel as if I am walking in treacle. So I have been having a nanna nap. But as it is also very humid here I find even that has not made a difference.


On Thursday we went out to lunch in an air-conditioned restaurant. Both Ray and I had a sleep as soon as we got back and I found I slept more peacefully. Yesterday we spent some time in the shopping centre, again in air-conditioning and again I slept better. I have a very old air-conditioner that we rarely use but may have to re-activate that if the hot and humid weather continues.


I went to my dementia support meeting yesterday. Unfortunately it was very crowded and their air-conditioning wasn’t working so it was rather a hot box in there. A lot of the information is repeated in a cycle of teachings and so I have heard it all before but yesterday a couple of things stood out.


The first was something I guess we should all as caregivers know. He said: “If I go to a house and it is immaculate I know the care recipient is being neglected. You can’t dust and give adequate care too.” Hmmm….


The other discussion was along the lines of the emergency care plan that we talk about from time to time. I know Debbie has blogged about this too. He was asked who needed to know about our financials? This was from a daughter caring for her father. He said she needed to contact the bank, insurance company etc and get a list of her father’s financial dealings.


He advised her to also contact any other organisation he had dealings with. This might be simply to list herself as an alternate contact or to arrange to direct debit bills or to establish her right to update details. It is a little thing but better done before there is an emergency.


She could do this as his Power of Attorney. Here you need to list all assets before going into full-time care so if she does it now she will not have to worry if his condition suddenly deteriorates and full time care is necessary. It is another worry off her mind if a real emergency arises and she is inclined to panic.


I don’t have a spotless house; I find chores pile up when I have to do the extra care thing as I have been doing the past five weeks. I am so glad that the podiatrist was able to scrape off the last of the blister skin on Wednesday and Ray is back walking on his foot again. It has been such an extra burden on me.


I know it sounds wussy to whine about such a small thing as wheelchairing Ray around the house but it is cumulative. It also meant more fetching and carrying as Ray wouldn’t wheel over to his table and pick up a pencil, it was: “Sue, I haven’t got a pencil, could you get one for me?”.


Ray is not allowed to put shoes on for another two weeks as the “baby skin” on his foot needs to harden before it takes any pressure. There is to be a temporary soft brace and then eventually another custom made AFO. It is all to ensure that there will not be a repeat episode. I hope not as I certainly wouldn’t want to do this often. I was so scared that it would result in gangrene and an amputation.


I think the fall I had on Sunday has also been a contributing factor in my not sleeping as my old relaxation method didn’t seem to work. I am usually able to relax my body but this past week still had so many aches and pains in shoulders and hips caused by the bruising etc. The good thing was I had plenty of time to work my way down my prayer list…lol.


I know…that woman always has something to complain about….


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Sue, Your post is loaded, you're not complaining when you just want someone to yak at for a while. You talk about the air conditioning being in demand, we could use a little of your heat here in the mid-west U.S. One city in Minnesota was less than -40 degrees farenheit early this morning. I'm in Michigan and we are dealing with 2 to 8 degrees tonight. Are you in any of the flooding danger? You guys have had a tough couple of years with the weather.


Funny how we turn a thing like a pencil into a gotta have it right now. I don't know about you but it seems like Bernie calls, I run. Hmmmm, what's with that?


For your back, you need to do what I do. A couple of cans of Miller or Fosters, followed by a couple of shots of Bailey's.


Take good care Sue, ((()))'s, Mike





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Okay, SUE, as you read, Mike is advising BOOZE.


For overworked, pooped caregivers, I also recommend


the occasional, well-needed







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I am so glad to hear that Ray's heel has healed. I know that that was an enormous worry for you. That at least will give you some peace of mind.


They really need to get an AFO that will not scratch or blister his skin.


Yes, it is good to air your thoughts. You don't whine. You express yourself. You are so good at that.


I do hope that you get some cooler weather so that you can sleep better.



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Sue: there is nothing whiney about sheer terror. And I was right there with you. If Rachel hadn't stepped in when she did, I probably would have been on the roof yet again, except the roof was what had me in terror, so probably would have gonefor another out.


I pride myself on not being scared of too much. There isn't alot I can't handle or find someone to help me. A serious medical issue, meaning even more deterioration to our loved one is a real good example of terror.


Please consider the AC-maybe Trev could get it in the bedroom window and test it for you. Even if only for a week, the rest is well worth it and fortunately Ray can now go on his side.


It was suggested to me this week by my contractor and just agreed to by my sister, that I would have to hire help to get the snow and ice and yard taken care of my someone, even tho we will have to pay; in order for me to be able to take care of everything else. Working more hours won't help, as I will have to pay a caregiver more. But somehow I absolutely have to try to fit this in the budget.


As Mary Beth advised, sometimes we have to try to figure out what will work for us caregivers, and that will only help our survivors. Consider it, Debbie

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Sue, you call it whining, I dont agree, but you do it with such grace. You are not hard to read at all and if whining, expressing whatever helps then go for it. Just to say you dont come across as a whiner. Keep up with the blogs, you will not run out of readers. I am glad Ray is better. All the best to you Sue,



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