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Snow and ice gone



The snow is gone for now as we had temperatures in the 70's last week. I was really happy about that as it made it easier for me to get Larry out without either of us falling. Larry has been back for a few more sessions of OT and PT. He was exhausted after Friday's session as Sarah, the PT, worked on stretching and tried him on the machines he will be using next. He is going to be in a program called "Next Step" which is private pay (goodbye Medicare). However, this will be fairly reasonable. The OT even had him use a machine and strapped his left affected hand onto the handle. He seemed to do well with this one, and I wonder why it hadn't been used before with the other OT. The other machine she tried was like a rowing machine and he actually was able to move the left arm a little. He does so much better in this environment as he is with others similar to his disability. He also works harder here. At home, he complains about exercising and now bulks at dressing himself! This morning he said "I would have been better off if I had just died after the stroke instead of being a burden to you." He says this every now and then and of course I tell him "you are going to get better but you have to try." I said "I don't want to be alone again." My first husband died from a brain tumor when he was only 43. I was 37 at the time and stayed single for 12 years until I met Larry. Sometimes I feel like I jinx people I am married to. Anyway, Larry knows he is not alone. All he has to do is look around in the rehab center as there are people in worse shape or who are much younger. God willing we will both get through this. His daughter and our granddaughter are coming over today and maybe this will change his mood.




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after reading your blog * Larr's response I remember how I used to feel the same way, but boy I am glad I persisted due to my wonderful husband & child & now enjoying great life with my family & friends. tell him things are never going to be this way forever, its going to change and more he does for himself, better he will feel about himself & his life. I know that's what worked for me.and praise his efforts.



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Julie: Bruce also prefers to work with me rather than his caregivers here at home. Leo will either just do it or coax him into it, Cathy isn't with him enough to assert herself yet, so just doesn't do it and Jen, well it depends on how she feels that day.


I explain as often as I have to that they are here to help me as well as him. Part of it I know is the separation anxiety of me going back to work. Another part is he would like to just wait alone until I get home, which of course is not an option. He does well for an hour or so, but the main worry is the toilet and he has done it himself both to me and to Leo. In all fairness, that is the one thing he is totally independent in doing. Just if he falls in the BR, we are talking ceramic tile, into the bath stall and probably injury.


But I too notice how much better he does at the pool with the other people working on the same issues he does. And that was certainly true with PT and OT, either here or at Rehab.


You just have to take Sue's advice and when they get ornery, leave the room. They know we have trouble saying no to them-we love them and want to ease their recovery as much as we can. I have found that on certain things I just have to keep my foot down. And as Asha advises always praise and say thank you.

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William says the same thing sometimes. I wish that I had died. But, that is only every so often.


I like you lost a husband . My 1st husband died when he was 45 years old.


I like you know that it is better that your spouse survives.


Just keep working...recovery is very slow. I tell William that he will be walking at some time in the future.



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I cannot recall specifics but i know many times I have said that to my husband That it would have been better for him had I not made it. Now he has Level IV b Pancreatic cancer My every moment is focused in doing all that I can and whatever I can to see to it that he has every minute possible Life is so precious if only I could have seen clearly then I am doing my best to take care of Bill He does his best to make that as easy as humanly possible as we pray for remission or a miracle Hugs to you Karen

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