Last night was unusual even for newme. I had a good day at the office. Wasn't over tired, wasn't stressed about anything, except what to do for dinner. I had, yet again, fogotten to thaw anything. That has been a problem for me since the stroke.
Anyhow, Logan said "scrounge night" was fine with him, others may call it leftover night. We each fend for ourselves from what is in the kitchen. Sam said that was fine with him too. Ok, problem averted.
So, trying to be a helpful and loving husband, Sam asked if there was anything I wanted for dinner. I told him no. I wasn't hungry. He waited about an hour and asked me again. Then he suggested making pulled bbq chicken subs out of the bbq I had slow-cooked on Saturday. I told him I just wanted a cold cheese sandwhich on a sub roll, no condiments, just cheese and bread. He didn't look happy, but he brought it to me.
Later on I announced to Sam that "I don't feel right." He asked what was wrong and I told him that nothing was wrong, but I was having trouble wrapping my head around anything. Everything seemed to have a sort of not-actually-real quality about it. Sam called it being disconnected, and told me it was ok, I was fine, maybe a little tired and suggested I go ahead and go to be early, or at least get into bed and lounge around until I fell asleep. I couldn't think of anything better to do, so I went into the bedroom, got into comfy pajamas and got into bed.
I decided to watch some tv, but I needed Sam's help. I couldn't read. I could see clearly, but nothing had any meaning to me. Sam went through the guide on the cable box, reading show titles until I made a choice, then tuned to that show for me, told me not to worry, I was fine, kicked the cats out of the bedroom, kissed me and went back to the livingroom, giving me some space and time to myself. I half paid attention to what was on until I drifted off to sleep. I don't know what time I finally went out.
Today, I don't really feel any better connected. Life sort of has that "going on without you" feeling, and I just do'nt feel like doing a whole lot of anything. I'm at the office, but glad that all of my tasks are done for the week and my boss is on vacation. I have no motivation. I don't really want to talk to anyone, read anything, leave my desk, or anything else. I just want to get through till 4 and go home. At least I remembered to set something to thawing for dinner tonight.