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The many faces of Eve... or me


ksmith

1,551 views

Well the day finally happened. The day my husband said he can't disassociate the 'new' me from the 'old' me. That was my fear. I still have no memory of me before and told him I always felt like I was being punished for something I didn't do. He likes the new me better.

 

Frankly I feel happier. Not sure what to do. I'm sure that is his hangup.

 

We're still happy but we were out to dinner last night ( PS when my husband cooks we always go out... I love when he cooks lol) and my son got a free helping of cherries. ( My husband cousin owns the place) and I was telling our son that these were like the cherries my mother in law uses for her pies. Well , My husband snapped at me for trying to One up him or out do him. I was stunned. I simply told him that I was trying to tell our son that for he likes grandmas stuff better. He then told me that a few things I've said over the course of a few weeks was similar to what I would have said before.

 

I had a blank look for a truly can't remember myself at all. The doctors think that the pressure of swelling in my head caused damage to my frontal Lobe which helps with the memory.But that's not here nor there..

 

I try to think of my past and wish I could go back and re do them but it's like a blank page. I have suggested for him to go to therapy with me or even go on here but he hesitates. Not sure if he's in denial or I am for the lack of memory or both,I'm so confused

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Honey, I don't quite understand the issue here. All the pros tells us that our person, even after stroke is still in there, changed, yes; but still in there. I often try various strategies with Bruce, depending on that theory and mostly they work. He just needs a reminder of how he felt pre-stroke and who he was.

 

You do not have that luxury. You are depending on others to tell you and unfortunately they add their spin. You may not remember in your mind, but you know in your heart. That I truely believe. If it feels right, go for it.

 

All marriages have issues, stroke or not. Maybe he was thinking all of yours went away. Well, not the case. Be yourself, be happy and comfortable with who you now are. Best, Debbie

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HoneyYou do not have that luxury. You are depending on others to tell you and unfortunately they add their spin.
boy you nailed it on the nose there...You-Rock.gif
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I'm very happy for you that things will get even better, just have faith in each other things will fall into place! :big_grin:

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Kelly:

 

I don't have loss of memory, but I don't remember everything, but I do know I m still me with or without memory, & when my hubby says you are still the same, I am more than happy. Since I know my stroke made me better person in compassion & patience department. I agree with debbie all marriages have issues, be comfortable & happy with who you are now, & that's the only choice we have. So make a gppd choice.

 

Asha

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