caretaker attitudes

[Leighla]

Hi all and Happy Holidays! I wanted to post a poll to survivors

on a topic I never dared to mention. Concerning problems with

caretaker acceptance of afteraffects from stroke. My primary

 

caretaker has been and still is my older sister who still after

6 yrs. Simply cannot fathom the many struggles I face daily just

to manage survival issues. First, I live in her home.Previously

was independant and shurely wish I was still. The problem I face

with her is her resentment that I am here. When I don't have much

choice in this matter. She continues to work a very stressful

job.This makes her unhappy in the morning before leaving and the

evening when she gets home. In addition she has always had a fast

and nasty temper. She insists that I observe silence always or

she blows up. Criticizing absolutely anything I say. So, that

having been said. Here's the next one. She also has always been a

very lousy housekeeper. She insists that because I am here much

more often than she, it's my job to clean everything, no excuses.

It is a very large proposition. So a previously professional

business person, myself is left all dirty, nasty tasks we have

around here. Her consistent criticism is contributing to any

further improvement in quality of life experience on my part.

This she also complains about. Also I have much more difficulty

keeping things organized for myself alone.This represents an

overwhelming overload of drudgery daily. I can't help but feel

that her diligence in helping me to survive is being turned into

a complete cop out of responsibility around this house.

She needs to turn my misfortune into her gain. What do you think?

Thanks, Leighla

[slmstrokeangel]

You have to move away.

[jasco]

If you are able to function well enough to clean sis' house; I'd say, get iut! It sounds like a terrible environment even if you were not a survivor!

 

Focus on a better place.

 

Hope you have happy holidays.

 

Jasco

 

[srademacher]

I have to agree with the others....there has to be a better living situation elsewhere. Nobody, whether a stroke survivor or otherwise, should have to tolerate verbal abuse.

 

Sarah

 

[kkholt]

Dear Cinderella,

 

Seems both you and your sister are not happy with the current living situation. You may have no other choice but to live with your sister, and she may be taking advantage of that - how unfortunate. Doesn't seem like that is a very nuturing enviornment for you and I certainly hope you have an alternative.

 

Warmest Regards,

 

-Karen

 

 

[Guest joy]

Oh, Leighla, Honey, even a nursing facility would be much better than living daily with both verbal abuse and physical exploitation. In some states, what she is doing to you is even illegal. Please use some of your time to make calls to the Department of Human Services for suggestions and to all the living facilities in your area. Even finding a room in someone elses home seems like it would be better. I wish you were here close to us. We have an empty front bedroom with roll in shower you could use. We're not in a luxorious situation but we wouldn't make you clean either. Surely there is someone close to you with the same situation. The area churches might just know of a place. Maube some elderly person who would like to have someone in the house with them especially at night.

 

Good luck to you and we will be praying for your situation.

 

Joy

[Guest strokesimon]

get out, move on.......

[bstockman]

I agree with the others, There are places here, where you can get a small apartment, they have meals in a main room, and they also have small kitchens.

 

I would contact your local disability office and see about getting your own place. you are home alone all day.

 

And at least in one of these apartments you would make friends, have activities and not have to put up with some one being abusive to you.

 

Contact agencies that have been suggested or some churches... but I would be looking to get out of there.

 

Bonnie