tinker Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 I need other peoples opinion. I dont know if i should move my husband from one skilled nursing facility to another. The reason i want to move him is because i feel the new one will be a movivator and get him out of bed. New doctors, new surroundings and he may benefit from that. The facility he is in now takes very good care of him but he has not been out of bed for over a month. He refuses. He grabs the bed rail when they try to get him up. I can only guess as to why he is doing this, because he has aphasia. Of course we have tried everthing we can think of to get him up. The reason I hesitate to move him---he is getting very good care where he is, it is closer for me to visit (i work full time and I go see him every day). Of course i have researched the new place and it is very nice and comes highly recommended. I guess what i am asking is does anyone think a change of scenery will be a movivator to get him back to therapy and out of bed. All he does is watch TV all day and night. Buy he is used to this place and a move could agitate him. When he was moved from acute care to step down (where he is now) it took him 3 weeks to get oriented and he was misarable. Or I could move him and he could do the same think in the new place and he will be further from me. If the new place helps him I would be fine with that but if it doesnt then what do i do. Some days i think i know the answer is to move him. I have to try something. Some days i dont know and i have no one to ask. He is only 64 and i want him to get all the help available Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fking Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Personally, I don't feel a move again will help his problem and it just may trigger the same response you got with the first move. Plus you work full time and more travel distance would prove a hardship on you trying to visit him daily as you do now. You would be fine with the move but it's only if it gets him out of bed. I wish I knew the answer which is probably between you and his doctors who are there and have a better picture of the situation. Otherwise I'd say follow your instincts and which ever way you feel is best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arogers Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 My opinion - and remember, this is just an opinion. If his care is good, if the folks are attempting to get him out of bed, if the food is good, if YOUR expectations are being met then I would suggest allowing him to stay where he is if he is settled in. Change is so very difficult an disorienting. Are you visiting the SNF at different times throughout the day? On the week-ends I'd suggest going at a different time than you do during the week. "New" and "different" might be motivators to you and me. However, new and different are frightening and confusing to my husband. We are planning a move in June, and we are working on it now. He is looking forward to it - but I'm reinforcing the benefits daily with him. As long as I am there he feels relaxed because I am the familiar. Without me, change becomes very frightening. I always try to put myself in my husband's place. With difficulties communicating life takes on a whole new perspective. I would really do some investigating about the change in willingness to get out of bed. It sounds like a fear issue to me. It could also be a decline in cognitive abilities. Before you make any change, be sure to speak with his doctors, the nurses, the director of nursing - everybody to try to find out what might have caused the change. Good luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstockman Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 This is just a "random" thought..... and something that happened with me. For the first year I was quite dizzy if I moved quickly, or looked up. At first riding in a car with scenery and other vehicles.. almost made me car sick. I had lost some peripheral vision so if cars passed by us on the right (passenger side) I could get quite jumpy. It went away and I only jump once in awhile when a passenger. So I am wondering if your husband gets moved from one position to another maybe he gets dizzy and that is why he grabs the rails. Have the nurses take his blood pressure when laying down, and then sitting up and standing? Sometimes a drop in blood pressure can cause dizziness, and sometimes it is from the brain .. where damage happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapdoo Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Tinker, I think Bonnie pointed a good thing out. He has aphasia and I am not sure how severe it is. Maybe he is having difficulty expressing why he doesn't want to get out of bed. Also, maybe others are having difficulty understanding him. Can you understand him? How does his speech and words seem? Does he use words that mean what he is trying to say? I developed fears after my stroke that 4 years post I am still trying to overcome. Maybe he has too. Obviously something happened three weeks ago. I think this might be a good place to start. Can you talk with the someone about reviewing his chart with you during the time right before and after he stopped participating? Maybe you can find something. Did he fall, have a medication change, new rehab therapist? This could give you ideas like a new PT, OT, ST or the medication change isn't working. What do the doctors say about his stop participating? Does it make sense to you? Nothing wrong with pushing the doctors to look for physical reasons he doesn't want to go to therapy or get out of bed. Especially since in your other posting you said he indicates it is very painful for him. What did the doctors do about his anti-depressant medication from your request? Have they changed his depression medication or dose since your January posting? If so, does it seem to have helped at all? If so, does he seem happy to see you and other visitors? Also, a thought I have. Is it possible to have a different doctor review his chart from the new location? Legally you are allowed to get copies of his records. You could get a copy for the doctor and meet. That will give you a chance to meet a doctor from the new location and see if they will have a different approach and even if they think he should switch to their location! As others have said, change is very traumatic at this point in recovery. What was his attitude and willingness before he transferred to the location? Did they get him He might take the same amount of time to adjust or even longer. He might not adjust at all. Talk with others that you confide in and visit with him. Get there opinions. Have you talked with him? I think you are brain storming ways of helping his recovery. This is a VERY good thing. Especially because it helps you with feelings of helplessness and loss of hope. I wish you all the best! Beth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myhome Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Moving him may not be the best idea if this facility is looking after his needs. Could they not have someone from the rehab dept come and visit him once a day just to talk for say half an hour, they could explain about some of the things he could try to help his body heal. I'm sure somewhere in there he really doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in a bed. Perhaps after he becomes comfortable with the person, he may want to try rehab. I know that I was ready to start rehab a week after the stroke. But each of us is different, more damage, then there's the feelings of hopelessness and what if this happens again. I don't know what else to suggest, even doctors are at awe sometimes at the recuperative properties of the mind. Hang in there, we're here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanderson Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 tinker, you have gotten some great suggestions from the others. all i can add is , you have to get to bottom of why he is not wanting to get out of bed to help himself get better. is he normally a stubborn man? if he is receiving good care where he is now, i would not move him, if it aint broke, dont fix it, comes to mind. a move can create other problems for you both,as you stated with the location and the price of gas today. i would thoroughly check out some of the other suggestions given to you first. its very scary for some stroke patients to get up and move around after a stroke, we do not have control of our bodies like we used to and the fear of falling is always there and the thought of having another stroke. maybe that is his fear of getting up and moving around, especially if he has cognitive issues along with his speech and doesnt understand about strokes. just my thoughts. i wish you both the best on whatever you decide to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndChance Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 I agree - do not move him now. At least not until you've overcome the speech deficit enough to communicate with him. He is getting Speech Therapy every day, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinker Posted February 16, 2008 Author Share Posted February 16, 2008 THANK you all for replying. I have gotten some great ideas. The dizzy thing i had not thought of at all and i think it may be possible. I will discuss it with him pronto. His aphasia is profound but we communicate in our own way but i cant always get answers. Oh and I got him out of bed and in his wheelchair today!!!!! I made a deal with him if he got in his chair and wanted to get right back in bed i would make sure they put him back and he agreed. go figure. Anyway he stayed in the chair for about 30 minutes i wheeled him all around and outside and then he broke out in a sweat and his color changed and he wanted his bed so back he went and it took him about 30 minuted to get his color back and stop sweating----so something is going on and maybe he does get dizzy and then that makes him sick to his stomach. but this is a start. and he says he will get up again so maybe we can get him moving. I will continue to rethink the move after reading everyones answers they made alot of sense. you all have really helped me a million hugs i will continue to update Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanderson Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 hi tinker, thats great news you got him to get out of bed today. thats a start. so he must have some underlying issues that caused him to sweat and a change in his color. i hope they get it figured out soon for you both, let hubby know we all are thinking of him and wish him the best. good luck to you both and you both are in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapdoo Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 This is GREAT that he got out of bed. I think it shows hid desire, but hie has some medical conditon scaring him to stay in bed. At least now it gives you an idea where to look. What did the nurses say/think qhen you brought him back pale and sweaty? How was his blood pressure? I wish you and your husband a wonderful weekend! Beth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinker Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 thank you for all your kind words and encouragement-- it means alot. I got him out of bed again today and it was cold outside - but i brought his jacket and we went outside and it was great. he stayed in the chair for 30 minutes and then he wanted back in bed but that was our deal and so back he went. I let him get comfortable in bed. I brougth some of his favorite food and he ate and we "talk" . so i am feeling really hopeful. Feb 14 was six months since he stroked and it was massive. I have read here that it takes six months or more for the brain swelling to go down. which i did not know. I have seen improvement in his alertness so i will keep looking for more and take baby steps ( which I learned here) i know i am not alone thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstockman Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Good news, Glad he got up again. Yes it does take about 6 months for the swelling to go down. I felt like I was in a "FOG" for awhile... almost like I had been dropped onto another planet. I remember some things from the first 6 months or year, but there is much I don't. I am glad things seem to have turned around and he is getting up.. in a week or so maybe you can add 5 or 10 minutes. Everything seems to be ..I guess very stimulating to the brain right now. So much to look at .. hear, movement. people talking to you.. so the brain gets tired quite easily fo awhile. Repeation is key to learning .. Wishing you both well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstraugh Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Thank you for the update. So glad to hear he got up for a bit. Hopefullly, you can slowly increase the time as he can tolerate it. I do remember some those first few months but like Bonnie much of it is kinda blurry. I learned more here than I ever have directly from the medical profession I think. (((hugs))) to you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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