Deigh

The, I am a survivor rather than a caregiver but I understand perfectly what you mean. As James said both parties are affected by the stroke and it is difficult to decide who has the worst deal. I am very well aware of the tremendous changes it can have on a marriage and to try and compensate I insist my wife continue with her own personal social life like Red Hats, scrabble and rummiklub engagements. I baulked out of accompanying her to quiz evenings since I was no good at them anyhow, she still attends but is allowed to carry her mobile phone in case she is needed. Now I know this letter is of no value to you but if it conveys to you the deep sympathy we feel for your problem then it may help. Deigh

Absolutely brilliant Deigh

Brilliant Heather. It will be good if our two countries manage to organise that bubble they are considering. The tourist industry in both NZ and OZ are being hit badly by the lack of tourists. Stay safe. Deigh

Brilliant move Alan, best of luck with it, tell us about your new triped. Deigh

Brilliant Keli, no accidents, no fires, zero emissions and the teams don't spray their winners with champagne! Deigh

Brilliant picture Alan and I gotta say it "You are looking well". Deigh

Welcome Eric to the forum. Plenty of good information available here Deigh

It is difficult to answer your question. I've had to think it out a bit! Yes, the stroke without doubt the cause of my tiredness rather than my age. The stroke came six years ago, three months after an operation to remove my spleen. They would not have considered the operation if I hadn't been a very fit 84 year old. The day before the op I could have jogged around the hospital. Even now I am in good shape, I have (some) brown hair, my own teeth, no hearing aids and do not use a stick when walking. To me the operation and the stroke came as a blow to my lifestyle, we were penniless and living on pension in a home built campervan, parked on my youngest sons driveway. And Loving it. Life was spent working on the van and saving up the pennies till we could afford fuel to get us to the trout fishing area again. Then it was a pleasant time meeting old friends and doing our best to reduce the number of trout in Lake Taupo, till the money ran out. Then back to son's driveway. Recovery from the operation would not be practicable in the campervan so we found a pensioner flat subsidised by the local Council and moved into it. Recovery was doing well when the stroke hit. Initially I was stunned as most of us would be but then I accepted the strokes handicaps as being another problem to overcome, and am spending my time just doing that. The campervan had to go, even now I am not strong enough to handle the rigours of trout fishing and have lost my heavy duty drivers licence anyway. I regret losing my pension boosting guitar and keyboard skills and am annoyed that I cannot consider fishing again as well as being unable to continue my other love as an after dinner speaker but can honestly say that I have never felt sorry for myself. Hope this explains my situation a bit. Deigh

It is difficult to reply to your question. I've had to think it out a bit! Yes, the stroke without doubt the cause of my tiredness rather than my age. The stroke came six years ago, three months after an operation to remove my spleen. They would not have considered the operation if I hadn't been a very fit 84 year old. The day before the op I could have jogged around the hospital. Even now I am in good shape, I have (some) brown hair, my own teeth, no hearing aids and do not use a stick when walking. To me the operation and the stroke came as a blow to my lifestyle, we were penniless and living on pension in a home built campervan, parked on my youngest sons driveway. And Loving it. Life was spent working on the van and saving up the pennies till we could afford fuel to get us to the trout fishing area again. Then it was a pleasant time meeting old friends and doing our best to reduce the number of trout in Lake Taupo, till the money ran out. Then back to son's driveway. Recovery from the operation would not be practicable in the campervan so we found a pensioner flat subsidised by the local Council and moved into it. Recovery was doing well when the stroke hit. Initially I was stunned as most of us would be but then I accepted the strokes handicaps as being another problem to overcome, and am spending my time just doing that. The campervan had to go, even now I am not strong enough to handle the rigours of trout fishing and have lost my heavy duty drivers licence anyway. I regret losing my pension boosting guitar and keyboard skills and am annoyed that I cannot consider fishing again as well as being unable to continue my other love as an after dinner speaker but can honestly say that I have never felt sorry for myself. Hope this explains my situation a bit. Deigh

I can understand that

That was well said. I do not have the same intensity of problems as you do but find that I must have 24hours between doing anything unusual. A recent problem with a new computer had me dashing regularily to the supplier to sort out problems. I deliberately had to leave a day between the visits or the resulting exhaustion would have been unacceptable. Deigh

Will, thanks for that reply, Highly unlikely that we will ever meet for a beer, but you never know! I am a bit sold on the chat forum and am now a regular contributor even though clock changes mess up my routines because of living in New Zealand where we are 16hours ahead of you. Catch you again Deigh

Thanks for that reply Will, I was very hesitant about entering in the discussion and held off for some days before contributing that rather harsh comment. Eventually I decided that you needed help or you would not have opened the conversation initially. Your reply explains the situation excellently. Unfortunately I can go no further with offerings of help. The situation is well out of my range and I congratulate you on your steadfast beliefs and I can only hope that someone local to you can intervene and solve the problem. The confinement necessitated by the virus is being difficult for us to handle but we are very fortunate that the problems we face are very minor. We are aware of great difficulties others have to face and consider ourselves the fortunate ones. We have a healthy range of interests which contribute to our keeping sane, even with missing out the activities we shared with groups. Hopefully our leaders will shortly find a way to ease restrictions without undermining the progress the country has achieved. Regards Deigh