Deigh

The trouble with emotions is that although it seems you have them under control, the truth is that you mainly have just suppressed them. The bursting into tears at the drop of a hat was incredibly difficult for me as a man to handle and it was a prime objective to get this under control three years ago when my stroke hit. Although I seem to have mainly done this I have problems watching emotional stuff on TV and tomorrow being ANZAC day I will not take part in any public parades for this reason. Deigh

My wife, who you have all been told about with her rendering of "MarseyDoats", Has for many years walked into a room where I am listening to a singer holding a note on radio and burst into song to match the note of the singer. Since she is usually at least a semi-tone out the result is terrible to me but acceptable to her. She holds this note until the singer changes and then follows the change by going up if he is going down (or the reverse). She thinks this is OK and if she is listening to her favourite Rod Stewart, then I don't mind. But if the singer is someone good like Matt Monroe, Sinatra or Tony Bennett, then I can get very annoyed. Since we have been married 57 years you would think I should be used to it by now but alas it still irritates me intently. In our early days I had a mate who's girlfriend he claimed was the worst singer in the world. I challenged him over that title and we had a bet over a pint of beer over it. He was also a musician and we got sheet music for something the girls liked and played for them to sing. Knowing Valerie could change key at the end of the line I thought I was onto a dead cert, but I lost the bet because his girl would change key frequently in the middle of a line as well as the end. I often wonder if they married? Deigh

That was a remarkable description of your disability. I am incredibly impressed with your writing skills. I look forward to the day when I'm impressed with your walking ability! Deigh

I am fortunate that walking is the least of my handicaps. I walk a couple of K every day and some of it has a slight incline. My right leg moves freely but feels like it is made of concrete. I have to be careful going up or down steps and rely on handrails. I also have to keep my eyes ahead, to turn suddenly to acknowledge a loud sound could see me tumbling, and running is out of the question. Living in a small town in New Zealand means that traffic is not too much of a problem so there is no requirement to dash across a road! Deigh

Our 16 year old granddaughter has a part time job at a local restaurant just above a west coast beach. Occasionally we found ourselves taking her to work. When this happened I would use the occasion to test out my beach walking skills. Handling the sand was not too much of a problem, but when I pushed the limits and stood in the incoming water surges then all sorts of unexpected things happened. As the water started rushing away my feet naturally sank in the sand and the feeling was remarkably unsettling. Once I got over the panic then I began to enjoy it. Not game to go for a dip yet, a paddle in the briny was sufficient. Deigh

Alan, If it is any help to you to know that your correspondence has improved tremendously since you first joined. Initially it was rather abrupt and sometimes barely logical. Nowadays you are much more flowing. You must be getting things under control a lot more, and this is always good. Deigh

I trust your dog has good homing instincts! I think you should test it out sometime, see if he can find the way home for you both! Deigh

Brian, Welcome to the forum. Every stroke is slightly different and I've not met anyone matching exactly your problems but each one of them I'm sure you will overcome. My appetite was not affected and now I have had to put myself on a diet to overcome the spread of my waistline thanks to a reduction in activity! Deigh

I'm not sure what country you are in but I presume is USA. If you go to your local 'Radio Shack' and ask for pillow speakers they will probably have them. They are quite small and flat and you have them just under your ear. When you don't want to listen you just push them away (They are very directional) as an alternative to switching off the radio. Deigh

Just before Xmas I had a great idea, I would learn another language just to make my mouth exercise on new sounds. I decided on Maori not only because it is local and current but because it is put out for free daily on the NZ Maori channel in an effort to make more Maoris use it. My idea didn't last very long. When I tuned in for the second day I realised I had forgotten the previous day's lesson! Deigh

Zeita, Welcome to the forum. My issues were similar to yours but I don't live alone and I can't imagine how tough that can be. Keep up the exercises. I'm still pushing the boundaries after three years and working hard to get those sluggish limbs working properly again. Deigh

I thought I had sleep problems till I read the last letters! `For many years pre-stroke I retired, but only sortof! I had a business to run and a capable wife to assist. I also had a son getting close to taking over so I could take time off to suit. At this stage I had sleeping problems, I would crash at the proper time but waken about 3 am and stay awake. Rather than disturb my wife I would rise make a cuppa, have a biscuit and a couple of Neurophen and work with my computer till tiredness took over and I returned to bed, crashing quickly. I actually wrote two books during this time! By midday tiredness would creep up on me and I would slope off into my photo studio (used for product pix) and snooze on the studio couch for an hour. Employees knew to leave me alone. Excellent!. Some years later after a financial disaster we found ourselves with only our campervan left. We took off and lived in it permanently for 6 glorious years, spending most of that time fishing and touring, living on the OAP and whatever we could earn. Getting up at night was now impossible and I had to learn new techniques of dropping off to sleep. Most evenings I was totally exhausted and sleep came easily. The new system worked till we obtained the pensioner flat where we now live. Then the Stroke Struck and my life changed again. Sleeping again became haphazard but the old system of getting up and working computer for an hour would not work. The following day I would be completely exhausted. I just refuse to rise and lay there, writing my next book mentally till I doze off. I can also fall back on my pillow speaker which is plugged into the bedside radio and allows me to listen to classical music without disturbing my wife. It switches off automatically after an hour but mostly I'm asleep before that. Now I'm not going to kid you that I have the sleep thing sorted out and have to try other things sometimes. I've written too long for the moment so sometime else I'll explain another trick I use. Deigh

Like Edkel I'd like to add something to give you hope and direction, but there is little I can do except sympathise with you in your situation. Another problem is that I am half a world away from you. Anyway, welcome to the forum. Deigh

Yes Heather, You have summed it up rather well. At the same time I have to admit that emotional scenes on TV are likely to have me choking, so it pays me to avoid those programmes. Deigh

I had a different problem, The occasional bursting into tears was not out of desperation or despair. It was when I wanted to say something pleasant. Even visits to me in the hospital by relatives I didn't particularly like would bring on an emotional attack. I've got to admit that I am pleased to say that nowadays I have mainly conquered this problem, but I still have to be careful and watch myself when tired and thinking of paying a compliment to someone! Deigh