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Overwhelmed and wondering if I am headed for a burnout


oldman57

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First I want to appologize to you nice ladies here If I start sounding like a male chovinest pig but I was raised in the old ways that a man shouldn't show his feelings. I know you ladies think that is silly maybe but it is just how I was raised by my dad and can't seem to change

 

Seems like the last week or so that I have been getting more and more depressed. I know part of it is my bipolar disorder. I don't have Insurance and can't afford the meds I need to control it. I know alot of the depression is coming from all the stress.

 

We live on my wife's ssdi and we just can't afford to hire help. Once in awhile I can get my teenage daughter to help some but most of the work is on my shoulders. I still do ok taking care of my wife and father in law but lately that is about it.

 

My mind stays in a constant state or worry over finances. Worrying about how we are going to pay our bills and keep food on the table. Granted we do get food stamps. I go to every food pantry in the county every month but there give aways are drying up from the lack of donations due to this bad economy.

 

The house has gone to pot. Looks like I haven't cleaned in a month of sundays. I know it is part of my job to take care of the house but my energy levels are drained. I have been trying to motivate myself with little to no success.

 

I couldn't tell any of you the last time I had any kind of fun or had a good laugh. Fred if you read this keep posting on the humor board maybe one day you will give me that laugh I desperatly need. You have come close to succeding a few times.

 

I am sorry for my rambling and going all over the place. Seems like anymore you my new found friends are the only ones I have to talk to. I do appreciate each and everyone of you that I have made friends with and those yet to become. Thank you all for letting me ramble.

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You are feeling what we all go thru. I must admit that not having the meds for your bi polar is probably not helping. I don't worry too much about the house. It stays messy. i do keep the floors clean. As William says, they are clean enough to eat off.

 

this is the place to vent. We are the people that you should share your grievances with.

 

take a little time for yourself. It may be reading a book or watching a TV show or just sitting outside and enjoying a few quite moments for reflection. Catch your breath and take a nice deep breath. All of the that fresh oxygen is great for your spirits.

 

I enjoy getting to know you in chat. Sharing good and bad days is what life is about.

 

Ruth

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Bob: you have your hands full. You have also been doing this a lot longer than I have. Don't worry about not being able to release your feelings, guys are just different. All we need to know is that you are confused and in pain.

 

The house, just today I was freaking! Like Ruth, I keep the floors clean. We have our darling cat, Kira and two people who would do anything for us, allergic to cat hair. If they are in distress here, they will not come back and I need them. The upstairs is not dealt with until my sister comes and she does all the work up there-Guest bedrooms and kinda has to-lol.

 

For now, keep your vigilance on the finances. Find all those areas where you can cut. Bruce's college roommate and his wife have helped me with that: nothing gets tossed unless it is used twice, funny their suggestions is never run water-try that with an incontinent person-lol! Who can afford wipes and personally they never even thought of that. But from that, I collect rainwater for the flower boxes, and Kira's water bowl. I sit here every night, alone, and think of those things that bring a smile to my face-something Bruce said=like yesterday when he told his best friend he could not put his shirt on because he was a "cripple"=Mr. Aphasic. I try to go to bed with a smile and I have to say, when you look for it, you will find it. Best, Debbie

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