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One caregiver forced to care for self a few days


oldman57

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When Kitty's 21 year old nephew has a bad day, I seem to become his favorite target to take it out on. I am not much of a fighter and he knows it. His favorite way of getting me is through assualt. Well a little over a week ago, he came at me again. Called the law on him and their attitude was to take pictures of the visable wounds and come to the station to file a report. Well there were no visable wounds so I was out of luck. Don't get me wrong, I got hurt, but my stupid macho male ego just went to the corner to lick my wounds.

 

Evidently I got hurt internally worse than I thought at first. Thursday evening, I was in the process of cooking dinner and got up to go check on it. When I stood up I had the worst stomach cramp and got extremely dizzy. I sat back down in the chair just to clear my head. According to Kitty I must have passed out for about 3 minutes and real shallow breathing. Needless to say she paniked and called 911. To make a long story short I ended up in the hospital for 3 long days. My blood pressure nearly bottomed out and had to receive 4 units of blood. The way the doctor describe it was evidently my spleen ruptured during the assult and some how healed itself. But I had lost a lot of blood internally.

 

Night before last I was finally able to come home. I am on lite duty for a week or so, nothing strenious. These limits make my caregiving a little challenging, but my daughter is a big help and kitty is able to transfere herself fairly well from the bed to the bed side toilet or wc. It was a pain in the neck trying to tell my daughter how to do kitty's meds over the phone in bed. Lesson learned, work on swallowing this stupid male ego and learn to ask for help more than I do. Also need to teach my daughter a little more on the meds. Only the good Lord above knows if and when I might go down again.

 

Hopefully I will have enough stama left to make it to chat tonight.

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oldman57:

 

thanks for the update we were all worried about you, your daughter first thought it was stroke we were so scared for your whole family & your daughter. make sure you don't allow your nephew in your home again, it could have been so much worse, though hopefully you all learn lesson from this episode & integrate in your life. join us in chat whenever you can.

 

Asha

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It was a good thing you did go to the hospital. Kitty was right to call 911.

Kitty didn't panicked she just did what any love one would do for another loved one. She called for Love 911.

You passed out so Kitty could call 911 and you couldn't fight her on it. Praise the Lord. Miracles do happen.Hope to see ya in chat tonight. remembertolaugh, Jeannie :cocktail:

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Mike, you may be Super Caregiver but you are not Superman. Send nephew away, do not, I repeat DO NOT take him on again.

 

Yep, we all have that "what will they do if I am not around" planning to do. Set up some lessons for your daughter on what each member of the family needs if you are unexpectedly not around and ask her to find a "buddy" so she is not doing it alone.

 

End of lesson , big (((hugs))).

 

Sue.

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Mike: I am still waiting to breathe on this-hope I don't pass out. I am sorry, but this is totally unacceptable. Do you realize you could have bled to death within an hour of a splenic injury? Where would Kitty, your daughter, your father-in-law and mother-in-law have been then? Where are this child's parents?

 

I agree with Sue on the back up plan for the family, but honey, this is just not right. You must file charges and get this person out of your life. At least there is now a documented medical report. Next time he is within ten feet of you, call the police and have him removed from the property as threatening. If that is not possible, lock yourself, Kitty and your daughter in a room, call 911 and while he is taking down the door, you can then have him arrested.

 

Please, please do not fool around with this! Debbie

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At this point all I can say is watch out and be careful. That scenario can get a person really hurt or dead! :unsure: Especially coming into your house!

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I almost cried reading this tonight. I understand what it is like to have someone abuse you. And I understand being taken to the hospital and having to have blood pumped into you. In my case I had surgery as soon as my blood levels were up leaving no one to care for my husband and adult protective services placed him in a state facility which was dreadful. Planning planning and planning is what I learned from the experience. Plan to be sure that NO ONE has the opportunity to hurt you again. Get that fellow arrested and a restraining order on him. Allowing him to hurt you not only endangers your life but the safety of other not to mention that you are doing him no favor not making him be accountable for his actions. Then have an emergancy plan in place. Make sure someone else can step in and give Kitty the care she needs. I am so thankful that you have bounced back. Let's keep you in good shape now, OK?!

Ruth

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Mike,

 

please take care of yourself. You have lots of good advice above. Please take it. That nephew is bad. Bad news. Keep him aways. he is not welcome!!!

I am so glad that you are OK.

 

RUth

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I can't add anything new to what has been said. But for sure TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF so you are there for Kitty. I agree I think the newphew is old enough to find a new habitat even if it is a shelter. Leah

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Mike - I have been out of town and away from computer, but have just learned how serious the asault was. Please take the advice offere, teach Rosemarie more about Kitty's needs and if possible, have a back-up plan in place. I'm glad that you are back at home now and able to help Kitty. Please help youself and Kitty; an asault on you puts Kitty in danger also. Take care, and glad to see you're back. Kathy

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