No more
Well I was given a ticket for my accident. I don't know why but I don't care anymore. My dad wants me to get a lawyer. I know the DMV medical review board will take my license at the next evaluation. I was hit on my back left side so Im pretty sure they can use my loss of left field vision as reason why I shouldn't drive. After all that was the reason in the beginning. Well anyway, they can have my license. I give up. On top of the $100 ticket I have to pay, to continue driving I would still have to buy a new car or pay for mine to be fixed. And I might as well add the cost of a lawyer if I want to get the citation taken off my driving record. Well since I don't have more money to waste on another car and it would take the amount of money my car is worth to fix it, I am back where I started. My job ends in 3 weeks, my friends will be back in school, and I will be sitting in my room. I stepped down from my position as volunteer coordinator for my sorority. I do love helping people and volunteering with my sorority but I don't feel like going through the headache of getting dropped off and picked up every time we have something going on. I also deleted my social networks and will be making my blog private. With so much time on my hands and the depression swallowing me up slowly, I don't want to waste my days away blasting my personal feelings through the internet. When I was 15 and in this same situation (no job, no car, no real friends, summer break) it was different. Now that I have grown up I just want to get away from it. My online friends have always been my only friends. Everyday all I've ever done is sit in my room laying in bed looking for new "friends", updating my status on facebook, tweeting, and looking for love through dating sites. Im just tired of this life. Tired of being caged bird and living my life through the internet. My college years (the best years of my life) are over. Being trapped in the internet world while Im depressed doesn't help. It only gives me more opportunities to complain because I know there are people out there to complain to. I just cant stand sitting in my room trapped in the internet spilling my deepest saddest emotions through the web like Im in high school again. Maybe when things get better in my life or my mood gets better, I will be back. but for now, I can't do this anymore
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