Beth, you do regret every lost memory, every misunderstood word, every face that is no longer familiar to your loved one. As you say dementia not a normal ageing brain but once you have accepted that you just go on. Rregrets were always my big thing, Ray forgot something and I'd think "but last week he could..."

As caregivers our biggest battle is toward acceptance, you can live in denial or see things the way they really are. Our family and friends can chose to deny, we have to live with the reality of the situation.

(((hugss))) from Sue.

Beth: I took a while to respond. Mostly because I can not get my mind around what you and Sue are dealing with. On a professional level I deal with it every day, but personally just can not go there. I am still adjusting to stroke and its residuals. When Bruce gets something back, I am just so thankful. His long term memory was never affected.

But vascular dementia still lurks and I can not just hope it goes away. So I took today to do some of your simple tests just to ease my own mind.

I only pray I will deal with it, if it comes, with the grace and fortitude that you show. Debbie

Steve has forgotten many small things. But the Corolla was the first big thing.

Our friends hadn't seen Steve in a couple of years, and they drove down from BC to see him especially to check since I had called and told them Steve has been diagnosed with dementia. And check they did!

I purposely allowed time for our friends to discuss things without me around.

They asked my son about my new partner Drew, what kind of man he was, did Martin like him, etc. They asked Steve questions which dug up without my supervision some obvious memory deficits. And they met Drew and (provisionally) welcomed him into the fold. They also noted that Steve did not think to take his insulin and blood sugar monitor when they went shopping. (a five hour trip!). And they noted that I was vigilat about checking and then insisting Steve take his meds.

So it was a good visit. And our friends showed that they are true friends, checking to see waht's really true and supporting both of us.