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About this blog

A wife's tale of caregiving for dear husband and his vascular dementia and strokes

Entries in this blog

The meeting worked out well enough. My toxic brother in law never showed up.

Apparently my step son ran into him a few days ago and invited him to the meeting also. Except step son mixed up the day and told brother in law the meeting was tomorrow. A little bit of schadenfreuden here, because if the brother in law had called me for confirmation/details as I had asked him to then of course he would have been able to confirm the correct time!   Step son and his partner brought our four and a half year old grandchild..... and when the discussion got heated my step son'

Bethel

Bethel

Family Meeting #2

Well, I went ahead and scheduled a second family meeting with Steve’s psychologist. It is happening tomorrow.   I have invited our son, my husband’s older son and his partner, and I also invited my brother in law and his wife.   Anyhow, it looks like my step son and his partner will be at tomorrow’s meeting. The brother in law and wife haven’t even responded to my invite so they might or might not be there.   Step son and partner are firmly in denial, and will say yes that Steve has dem

Bethel

Bethel

How to make an entire car disappear.

Today some old friends came to visit. They took Steve to Costco and Trader Joes while Martin, Drew, and I continued cleaning.   At some point in their visit the old friends mentioned to Steve the '02 Toyota Corolla we sold last year. Steve had no memory of that car at all. We owned it for almost ten years and as far as Steve is concerned it never existed.     And that, my friends, is how you can tell the difference between a normally aging memory and dementia. Because a car you sold only a

Bethel

Bethel

Remember: Bullshit belongs on the begonias!

I copied this from Rachel, with only a few edits. I am sharing here because it is excellent advice!   A person who tsk-tsks the behavior, the decisions, the commitment of a caregiver, and/OR a person who sabotages, subverts and/or shrug-offs what caregivers do has a perception problem. This perception problem might be caused by any of the following issues:   #1. They are a person who has never been a caregiver   #2. They are a deluded, "perfect" caregiver who believes their way is the "per

Bethel

Bethel

Sharing stuff with family and friends.... online...

I'm kind of frustrated with a couple of folks right now.   They're not stepping in AT ALL to help, and worse yet they're telling Steve that he is OK, *and* they're telling me not to post things online about Steve and the effect his dementia and strokes is having on my life. Because it "isn't anyone else's buisness."   WTF? Seriously. I'd like to say this to them   "C'mon people, you aren't here dealing with the day-to-day stuff. Also, since Steve is still (for the next couple of weeks)

Bethel

Bethel

Vascular dementia blog.

I understand that this board is for Stroke Survivors and their loved ones. And I know that vascular dementia is related to strokes... but it is true that the issues involved in vascular dementia are a bit different from what happens when a person is recovering from a stroke. With that in mind I would like to start a support board for folks who are caregivers and family members of people who have vascular dementia and/or alzheimers. I've searched the internet and haven't been able to find such

Bethel

Bethel

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

There is a movie called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0421715/   Benjamin Button ages backwards. And that is sort of what vascular demnetia is like. But unlike the movie here it is, in my living room, in the man who used to be so funny, so on top of things.... a second degree black belt, with an amazing talent for playin bass guitar.   He hasn't lost too much yet, but he has lost enough to know there are problems - and it frustrates him immensely! I suspe

Bethel

Bethel

First entry.

I have just moved back into my house.   Four years ago I wanted to finish my bachelor's degree. I went to a local community college and was doing well. I took a chemistry class, and afterward accepted a work/study position as the chemistry professor's assistant. That is when his already somewhat inappropriate behavior escalated and led eventually to sexual assault, and the school's incredibly poor response.... The totality of which has left me with PTSD and an ongoing lawsuit.   So I enrol

Bethel

Bethel