ok, i knew it wouldn't be easy, this "gym gig". but i had NO IDEA just how hard it would actually be!!!!

i had my fourth visit today. i have started out slowly , like i am supposed to, but you would think after over a YEAR of dancersize and free weights at home i'd be in better shape!!!!! NOT!!!!

you'd THINK i had never been a member of a gym before, not so. I just don't remember it being this TORTUROUS!!!! i thought with it being a cardio care gym that it wouldn't be as hard, how WRONG i was. there are 65 year old men in there who can stay on a stair climber longer than i can, and THEY'VE had heart attacks.

a nice physical therapist making his rounds came up to me on the stairmaster. he said"i noticed by your chart that you had a stroke which affected your left side.". i said" yeah", huffing and puffing. he asked about what physical therapy i had. i told him that the neurologist had never recommended or suggested it that they basically discharged me and wished me luck. he could not BELIEVE IT. keep in mind this is the hospital where i had been treated, if you can call it that.

he said, "that explains you favoring your left side on these machines. you should be past that by now, had you had physical therapy. yesterday i noticed that you almost were hugging the left rail of the treadmill before you were done." so i said" well, are you just going to critisize me, or can you help me? he said it was his job to help and he would make a plan for me and have it ready by next monday. then he asked a bunch of questions and told me to stay off the treadmill and stairmaster till he could assist me. i must have looked pretty bad.

i feel SO much better now that i know i should have had physical therapy and especially now that i'm gonna get it. even if i AM 18 months behind schedule. "brian", my new hero, seems to think i am doing well, "considering". he says if i follow his plan, and work real hard, i'll be up to speed in no time. i LIKE that positive attitude. it doesn't hurt that he's cute too.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY NEUROLOGIST?? what stinks the MOST is that insurance covers this junk. i could kick myself where the sun don't shine for not insisting on it. actually, i was under the impression that i would have to LIVE with falling down and losing balance. i thought the stronger i got with regular exersize, the better i would get. i guess i have in many ways. but NOW, i see llight at the end of the tunnel. what a joy to even entertain the thought that i MIGHT STOP FALLING DOWN!!!!!!!!

what a happy day. REJOICE IN THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!1