My Weston update
We have our 1.5 yr old grandson for a week..... And it has went so much better than I envisioned... Of course Weston grew up around Dan so he is well acclimated to staying out of the way when grandpa is walking, not crawling on him, and generally just leaving grandpa alone.... It's a bittersweet thing to watch, sometimes Dan is engaged and enjoys him, other times will avoid him like the plague... He can be tender sweet and mean as a snake to the kid,.... Every now and then we as a family go to a restaurant and Weston will fuss and Dan will loudly say SHUT UP goddamn it....... Causing people to look , and so then we are correcting dans choice of words, trying to teach him to say quiet in a hushed voice... And of course we plan ahead as much as strokley possible, nap for grandpa and Weston, activities for both at the table while we wait to order.... Some might say why put yourself and them through all this, well I am 46 I love my husband and I love my grandchild and family... I am going to do everything humanly possible to make memories that include the whole family..... I live in constant fear of neighbors opinions, strangers opinions,the what ifs and the why me,s......but at least we are not yet down and out, the day will come when I slow down our world, but I have to move forward... Sometimes dragging a kicking and screaming husband with me... The jury doesn't is exist with enough knowledge to truly judge what I do or don't do to try to improve my life, dans life and the families life.... On another note the assistive chat is still something Dan is working hard at.... So proud of him, but he works till he exhausts himself mentally... He wants so badly to be able to effectively communicate again..... I have driven to church on random days many times because he has not been able to communicate he thinks it is church day ..sat. Mass... So I have no idea where he wants to go . And he has no idea it is a Tuesday not a Saturday... The wonderful world of aphasia, I do orientate him often through out the day... But he starts to ignore me , the pest I am and doesn't, can't really hear what I am saying........ So we drive to the church see the empty lot, then he is open to the reason it is empty....and church is a production, we rarely miss, he used to usher every week so lots of greetings every week, but many tears to from Dan as he watches others usher and he knows he most likely will not again....the church even recognizes him and bring him the host and wine to him... Dan just hates being taken up front on display.....well my update, my sanity, my diary so to speak...... Everything we write in it changes in appropriateness and circumstance but it is a record for others to use as a map of where to go or not go.. And where we have been....