Sad days
Entry posted by Jhari
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I did not take mom to the neurologist yesterday. She was not in a good mood when I got there and more than that, it was snowing, 25 degree temperature and a bitter wind. It's hard for me when she wants to go and I just did not have the strength to deal with that yesterday, so I cancelled. She has refused PT 3 times now, so that has been cancelled also.
Last night I talked with my brother. He sounded very weak. They brought in a hospital bed, w/c, bedside commode, the works yesterday. He said he hopes that it goes fast, because he's tired of fighting. He told me he is very emotional, crying very easily, so not my brother. My heart is breaking for him and his wife. We are still going up Saturday, but I am also going up tomorrow. I called my sister-in-law this morning to ask what I can do. Right now I guess they are settled. She is an RN, so that will be helpful. Although when it's someone we love, those skills just don't cut it sometimes.
My daughter is upset with me. she feels I am pushing her away. I don't feel that I am, she and I are so different in so many ways. She loves to have alot of people around all the time and wears her emotions on her sleeve. I, on the other hand, when I am sad I like to be alone, just to think things through and talk with God. My emotions are under wrap most of the time. She sees that as being cold and hard. Which may be so, right now I am just trying to get through all of this. When I go to see mom I cannot let her see what I'm dealing with.
So, I guess I am asking for prayers right now. My brother, Dale, says he is anxious and afraid right now. I am prayiing that he will have peace and faith. And praying the same for the rest of us and myself.
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