I want to get better not worse
I was looking at old pictures of me and my arm looked a lot better. I can't even tell there is anything wrong with my left hand.
I want to get back to this so I have been exercising again. These pictures are my motivation. Today when my wrist was getting sore from wearing the splint, I toughed it out and kept it on. I did my e-stim for the 2 one hour sessions. It had been really difficult to get my new splint on at night so I got the orthotist to come back and adjust it for me. He said there was not much he could do and that splint was the best for me. I guess I just need to do more stretches before I put it on. I have just been wearing my old splint since it is easier to strap on and more durable.
This is before I put it on
Here is my arm with it on
Here is my wrist after I took it off!
When I am walking my arm is bent. wrist is completely bent and fingers are curled. I have no pictures of how I look now because I am ashamed. All I can do is look at my pictures from 2007 and think wow I look like this now because I didnt take better care over the years. I honestly think baclofen has a lot to do with it. Before I started baclofen at the end of 2007 my wrist was straight not big bump in it but my fingernails dug into my hand because my fingers were so tight. Since the baclofen my fingers are looser I can open my hand up to do things like hold my tooth brush and hold my medicine bottles to get the top off but now it is harder to get my wrist straight. Looking at my old pictures I was so confident. Now I am so self conscious. When I worked in my own office I could exercise freely and wear my splint with my arm under the desk. Working at the library, I am constantly walking around so my arm wants to swing but cant so it just stays there. Pushing the book carts makes me use more strength so my arm rises even more. I dont usually think about straightening it until I feel my fist hitting my stomach.
I guess I basically felt like I was making a lot of progress with my fingers. The other day I got my left hand to open so good I could hit the palm using my good hand to make a clapping noise. (I was celebrating lol) but then looking at my old pictures was just a reminder of what will happen when I dont exercise. Now that I have the things I need to exercise and I am not eligible for anymore therapy, the rest is up to me. I am going to find my old exercises and do my best to wear the splints and make time for the e-stim.