I was just telling someone else a few mintues ago, lately what bugs me about the stroke is how I can't figure out what Ray wants to eat. I'll ask him 10 times: So you want sausage and pepper for dinner, right? Yes, definitely. But then when I serve it, he looks at me like I'm insane.

I have been trying to figure what he wants as a side dish for the Fourth, macaroni or potato salad. I've asked him a hundred times, I've shown him a bag of potatoes and a box of macaroni, I even showed him tubs of both in the grocery store. He seems to be saying macaroni, but when I put the bowl on the table tomorrow, I bet I get that "what the heck is this" look from him, once again.

At least when we're home, I can make him go into the fridge and show me, that works to some extent.

Colleen, believe it or not, I have the same problem when I ask Larry "what do you want for dinner" Breakfast and lunch, no problem, it's always the same. I name several things and get "that doesn't "sound good". Half the time, he doesn't know or isn't that hungry. Yes, even with no aphasia, it is a problem. At least Ray eats!

Julie

True, although if I make him a sandwich now he'll only eat half. Then I eat the other half for breakfast, instead of a yogurt or something healthy. I always said he has some kind of anorexic tendencies. Not so with me! It all looks good.

Ray eats on schedule, always has. Nowadays, first thing when he gets up (but when he smoked, no breakfast just a pack of cigarettes and coffee; then it was lunch at 1:00, no deviations, even at a job that mandated noon for the break). Then cheese and dips at 5, aka happy hour, and dinner by 6. It's annoying, I like to graze all day, but I'm used to it by now. Just wish he liked all the stuff he used to like, it's so hard to figure it out now.

debbie did send me a chart of speech and dan is hitting the catagories at least... perkins - might be applebees .... or a coke. NO ICE might be a beer ..... was, waa is a child ( usually weston) ...... crunch, crunch is food.... if he is talking in numbers it usually means cost, or time.....so catagories at least helps--- at least i knew i was hunting for food.... LOL

You told me that gem, so I try to think in categories too. With Ray, soda can mean: soda, beer, pills or anything that goes in his mouth. Then you just have to narrow it down, by showing him or drawing a picture. He doesn't have too many other words unfortunately. But the night after our cat died, he was calling out Hi Hi Hi in his sleep and I knew that's how he called to cat to come sit with him. Me, he just calls Uuuhhh. Better than nothing I guess! It's a whole new language, without a Rosetta stone.

Ray does the numbers thing too, but he doesn't say them, he hold up fingers or writes it down. But it does mean something like time or cost. Just can't figure it out, because the numbers don't match exactly what he's trying to convey. It's Twenty Questions time!

Am so glad the categories are helping. Speech advised that this will take a long time - and it did - 3 years: before Bruce began to think that way before I started with the questions. Finally! But you have to stick with it and do it each and every time, and that is the key. Frustrating, annoying, yes. And don't forget, initially Bruce did not think this would help.

I do not have your issues with appetite and fussy eaters. But I did know when Colleen got us on the new way of cooking and eating, Bruce would balk. He has roommates that were just so annoying with the vegetarian stuff, he would just make fun of them. But Colleen's ideas and menus don't stress that or shove it down your throat! It is more like - this is healthy and can taste great.

I have the advantage, I know, in that Bruce wants to help out in the kitchen and learn. And this goes back to pre-stroke when we both were working 60 hours a week. I mostly did the prep, made the decisions. But on nights I was too exhausted to think, Bruce took over. And I think he did all of it with his ex-wife, who was not well. And he was basically on his own since about nine years old, so he is comfortable in a kitchen. Loves his Cuisinart and herb garden, and all that helps. Yes, it takes twice as long to include him in meal decision and preparation. Last night he was seasoning his Quinoa-Bulgar-Chicken wraps and nearly drove me crazy, but I hang in there just because he WANTS to do something!

It is always a help that Bruce's education and love is in words. We still need a translator at times, when he gets too obscure for me - LOL. But usually he can draw on his education and knowledge to find a good substitute - altho Micturate took me a while - LOL.