I am feeling good today so decided to write a quick blog and spare you guys the long drawn out entries of the good bad and ugly in my life. For some reason the psychiatrist still has not called to schedule my appointment. I've been calling my neurologist every week for the past month. So today I seen the hematologist. He put me back on iron pills but I don't think I really need them. My hemoglobin is at 11.6 and the normal level is 12. He is going to check my blood for everything and call me if something is wrong. I know I have something going on psychologically but I just wanted to rule out if there is anything else going on. When I was little before we found out about the AVM, my doctor thought I had hypoglycemia. Since my neurologist doesn't think Im having real seizures, I just want to see if there is something else causing the random attacks.

I went to the rec center on Saturday. My friend I've known since my stroke helped me. I walked the treadmill for 20 minutes and she helped me with the big machines. I dont know what they are called. I did the one where you pull the bar down, the one where you pull the bars in, and the one where you push the bars up. My knee was kind of sore after the treadmill. Then I got a spasm on like the inside of my arm so I went home lol. I was glad to have my friend there to help me put my fingers around the bars and to help push until I felt confident for her to let go and let me do it. I was trying to figure out how I can exercise and go to the gym by myself. I know I need to strengthen my triceps and not my biceps but thats about all I know.

Then today I discovered there is a Select Physical Therapy in the same building as my hematologist! Select Physical Therapy was where I went in Charlotte. I had been feeling kind of lost because i dont want to go back to my pessimist pain management doctor who is only going to refer me to the pessimist OTs and PTs at the outpatient rehab at the hospital. But now that I know there is a Select Physical Therapy here I am definitely going to fight to get back in there as soon as my medicaid gets switched over and I get a new PCP.

I went back to the library today and sometimes I really don't miss it. As I dropped books into the drop box, I thought about how I used to have to push that heavy cart outside in the cold and rain grab all of the books, cds, and movies out of one cart put them in the other cart then push the cart back in the library only to take them all out of the cart, check them in one by one, and sort them in the book trucks all with one hand of course. Boy do I not miss that! After the doctor I went out to lunch with my dad. I could never do that in Charlotte. It was nice. I came home to read some more and work on my business plan. I am starting to see the silver lining of me moving back home and I am glad Im not bogged down by depression right now so I can actually feel optimism. i finally have more time to focus on getting my left side better and finding the career for me.