Thanks for all of your support. I will try to go through my blog post and see if I can find anything that seems to be repeating. Its always so hard to remember dreams and things that happen in the middle of the night so Im glad I blogged a lot of times it happened. My memory has been extremely bad since last week when I passed out/slept walked/whatever. I literally feel like I am repeating myself when I talk on the phone because I cant remember who I talked to and what I told them about. I have to look through my call log on my phone just to remember if I just called someone or not. It's no fun at all.

I returned my books to the library. Im just too scared to focus on reading. I tore the page in a book last week when I passed out. I have my own nook but my anxiety keeps me from really being able to enjoy the books I own. So I've just mainly been watching tv. I went to the gym yesterday for my fitness assessment. Everything was good-my cholesterol, heart rate, blood pressure, etc. I explained to the exercise physiologist that I'd had a stroke. He was really nice. He told me I could retrain my brain to use my left side and he gave me a workout plan that will strengthen my arms, core, and legs. He also suggested the warm water pool classes in addition to the senior yoga classes and "stretch & breathe" classes I have gone to.

It sucks that I am paying out of pocket but I think it will be worth it. I feel in control of my body and Im not confined to a PT room with a couple of sessions. I have a whole health plex I can use anytime I want with licensed physiologist there to help and I dont need a doctor's order or a round of botox in my arm just to go. I like that a lot of the people there are older and have some type of disability too. I really think I will make progress. I've decided to go 2-3 times a week and try the warm water therapy classes once I feel safe being in water.

It is really hard sitting home all day, being afraid every time I drive, and pretty much putting my career and independent life on hold while my peers go on with their lives so Im hoping this gym routine will give me purpose and make a good change. I notice I dont feel so depressed on the days that I go work out and use my arm around the house.