You guys

I have not been this happy in a long time! As I said in my last entry, I finally moved into my apartment and spent my first night on Saturday. I love it and I included a couple pics. (I did not take pics of every part of the apartment or the outside [laudry room, pantries, closets, etc.) I was worried I would have a panic attack being here by myself but nope I have felt pretty good. I was also worried about sitting staring at the walls or just being on the computer all day and getting lonely like at home but nope, I haven't even had time to be on the computer. I can't afford cable so I bought an antenna for the tv in my bedroom and I get about 20 free local channels (which I haven't had time to watch.) I also bought a roku for the tv in my living room and signed up for netflix (which I also have not had time to watch yet!) Over the weekend my dad took me grocery shopping and my mom help me re-fold and put away my clothes and re-wash my dishes. Right now it is 3am. I haven't got much sleep since I've been here. I don't know if its from noisy neighbors, different environment, change in temperature, or my allergies. but its NOT from seizures or nightmares so Im not complaining!

a snapshot of part of my bathroom. plenty of rails to hold on to in the shower

i have 2 walk in closets in my room but my dad wanted my bed against the wall so we blocked one closet

another part of my room

another part of my room

i have a door in the living room that leads to a patio

another couch in the living room

tv in the living room

my wall of achievement in my spare bedroom (the office/guest room). Im still unpacking.

snap shot of my kitchen

I have been meditating and doing the progressive muscle relaxation Jamie recommended daily. I also seen my therapist again yesterday and I see her again next week. Saturday made it a full month that I have been seizure free with the exception of the ones induced for the EEG. I don't know if its the meditation, therapy, no more seizures, or being independent again but I feel on top of the world. I am so happy and I've felt happy for so many days that Im not scared anymore. Im working with my therapist on how to keep from going from extremely happy to extremely depressed when something bad happens and this weekend Im going to a Bible study group where we will be talking about how to deal with life's interruptions and keep your faith even when things don't seem to be going your way. Hopefully I can store up all of this good wisdom and remember to use it when my happiness high comes down.

I don't even care that I don't work right now. I've always strived to be successful. While unpacking my boxes I found certificates and accomplishments from elementary school until now. I realized Im always striving to do more and be more but I have already succeeded in every area of my educational, professional, and financial life. I found a whole bag of old splints, exercises, weights, stress balls, and my e-stim tens unit so I plan to add exercising to my daily list of things to do.

I just wanted to let you guys know I am glad I found treatment for the seizures and glad I am able to feel happiness again. I used to love taking my meds and going to bed at 9 because life was so boring and depressing but now I'm so happy, I always want to stay up late! but Im going to continue taking my meds at the same time every night. I shower before I take my meds then get in bed right after my shower. That way Im not walking around without my AFO and I believe taking my meds and going to sleep around the same time every night is definitely helping in preventing seizures, parasomnias, and loneliness.