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doctors, panic attacks


CagedBird

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This week went pretty good. I did some grocery shopping and went to the library with my dad again on Monday. Monday night I believe I had a panic attack. I was laying in bed on the computer and I started to get agitated. I didnt want to be on the computer, didnt want to call my cousin, and it was too late to start a movie. Then it happened. I started to feel really dizzy, I got kinda nauseous and since this was the first time since I moved here that it happened while laying in bed, I thought I could be having a seizure so called my cousin. I talked to her until I calmed down.

 

It sucks that Im still afraid to lay in my bed. The only time I lay down now is when Im falling asleep. If I lay down any other time my left arm starts feeling weird and I get scared that its going to start jerking like a seizure. On Monday night I was laying on my left side to hold my arm down while on the computer like I am now when the attack happened. I dont know how I did this everyday when I lived with my dad. I get tired of sitting on my couch all day but sometimes I wish I could just lay down and talk on the phone or watch tv with no fear or weird feelings.

 

Im too smart

On Wednesday I had to go get a psychological evaluation requested by my therapist. It was not what I expected. I told the psychologist my life story and he doen't even see the point in me having a real evaluation test. He says they could test me but he doesn't think it would be conclusive with what he and I talked about. With all I've been through, he said its normal for me to feel the way I do and he would probably be worser off than me if he was in my shoes. I asked him about the anxiety, irrational fear, and panic attacks. His conclusion was "you're just too damn smart." He said people with high IQs think a lot so thats why I have the fear and anxiety. His only suggestion to me was to go back to school to be a psychologist so I can think about other peoples' problems instead of my own (like he did) since I am so smart and intelligent. Im not sure if this is good or bad. I kinda wanted a diagnosis so I could get treatment. But I guess there is nothing psychologically wrong with me.

 

EEG follow up

My follow up at Chapel Hill yesterday went as I expected. They screwed up my brain 12 years ago so I will be on seizure medicine for the rest of my life because of the scarred tissue. I was right about the birth control. Progestin helps me and my medications seem to be helping so continue my medicine. I did learn 1 new thing. A side effect of keppra is anxiety. So the increase in keppra may explain the increase in anxiety attacks. I was thinking about going back to my old dosage but I was so depressed before. I dont know which is worse being depressed for no reason or having random dizzy spells (panic attacks). Im just glad I dont have the seizures.

 

panic attacks

I had another quick panic attack before I went to chapel hill. My dad was here and it was dark and he was sitting on my couch. I started to feel like I was dreaming because it was such a different experience. I told him he was making me feel weird so I went to the bathroom and plopped on the toilet trying not to fall I was so dizzy but once I finished peeing it was over. He didnt even know it happened. I was talking to him the whole time saying "Don't come back here, Im peeing." (because I didnt have time to shut the door). I am glad the attacks dont last long and I believe they will go away

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Katrina: you are working through it honey and just have to keep focussing. Don't be doing things you don't want to do - it allows time for your mind to wander and the angst to kick in. Get up and take a shower, go for a walk, go from lying to sitting - Move! You know the one with your Dad was your anxiety of going to the EEG follow up appointment and that is to be expected.

 

I do hope others will comment on the Psychological evaluation. Personally, I would go for another evaluation with a different Psychologist. Debbie

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You know, my thoughts are you were so, so young when you had the stroke and have lived with all the results since that time. Maybe the care you got back then was not all you should have had or gotten but no one knew for sure. I say that because when I had the stroke it seemed not many people, nurses, or stroke personnel knew what to tell me on what I could expect down the road.

 

Everybody had a different feeling about what would happen to me, how long this would last or what treatments I would need to get better and back on my feet. I stayed 5 months in the hospital and nurses, doctors, and clinic personnel didn't know what I could expect or when I may be able to go home or my outcome from the stroke.

 

That was a little scary to me especially when I was told daily I may not ever walk again but said nothing about being paralyzed for life!!

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Kateina, I am with debbie, you got to keep focusing, keep thinking postive. Get up and go for walks even if it just down to the corner, i just love been in the fresh air, and moving.

 

So your Psychological evalution, proves that you are smart, and I have heard that some times we are too smart for our own good. If you are really unhappy with this view point go get another evalution.

 

Focus on what your plans are for the future, this seem to take you to a happy place.

 

Yvonne

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