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Been a while!


catbeleu

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Hi everybody! It has been quite a while since my last blog so I don't even know where to start. Let's see I guess I will start with Mike. Well he is batteling the dizziness and nausea again. Doctor said a month ago he had fluid build up behind the eardrum and gave him a shot to clear it up. Hasn't helped at all. Now he says the fluid is gone and it is just due to the stroke. How can that be? He hasn't been dizzy for almost 6 months now and then all of a sudden he is. I just don't think it is from the stroke. I don't know though maybe it is. He is starting to get really ill and so miserable! I feel so sorry for him sometimes. The doctor put him on an antidepressant and told him it was for dizziness. Guess he thought he might be having some anxiety that was causing it. Some days he takes it and he feels really good, other days he takes it and is just blah. Oh well as Nancy says "It is what it is". Could the antidepressant cause him to be depressed? Well as most of you know my Mom passed away in Feb. Well now my Dad is on his last days and I am sitting here at the hospice house with him tonight just watching him lay there and breath. He is so weak he can barely open his eyes and when he does it is only for a few moments and then closes them again. He has asked for Mom more times than I can remember and my sisters said last night he called out loud for her. I know the time is very near and not to sound cold hearted but I will be thankful when it is over. None of us want to suffer in our last days. I played some of his favorite music for him earlier tonight and I think he smiled! I hope I brought just a little joy to him today. It has been a rough few years for me. First my brother passed in 2011, Mike stroked in 2012, my niece passed in 2013 now losing my mom and dad in 2014. I guess that's what happens as we get older, loved ones die and we are left to ponder the whys of it all! At 50 I feel like I have lived 100 years already. Enough with the woah is me stuff! I should be thankful for my blessings instead of moaning about all the bad things. Somewhere I think I got off track in my thoughts so I hope you can follow and understand my ramblings and I didn't bore you too bad. Think I am gonna lay back pull a blanket over my head and steal a nap while dad is asleep. Good night all. Hope you have a blessed Sunday!

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You are entitled to do the "woah is me" stuff from time to time, we all are. And you have had a lot of losses in a short time and that is a big drain on your energy, particularly now sitting by your father's bed. Been there done that, got the emotional scars to prove it. My thought are with you. Hang in there friend.

 

(((BIG HUGS))).

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I am so sorry for everything that has happened to you lately; luckily you are strong and look at things the best you can. Not everybody has that skill. Stay strong, and I will be thinking of you!

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Thanks for updating us on everything. So sorry about your dad and all your losses. I think you are doing the best you can. Hard to stay strong but we caregivers just have to do it.

 

Sorry about Mike's dizziness. I know I have heard the doctor's throwback on the stroke being the problem. If it continues, you can always get a second opinion.

 

Take care,

Julie

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I'm sorry to hear he is battling that problem again. Is the dizziness/nausea back when he watches tv? If he hasn't been taking the anti-dep all along, I don't know how he's dealt with his stroke problems without being depressed. On the days he just seemed blah, those would have probably been deep horrible days for him, if he hadn't taken the pill.

 

Oh no, your dad, too. What is it that has went wrong with him? Just terrible that another sad thing, so soon. :(

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Sorry to hear about the dizziness. Wm had dizziness called vertigo after his stroke. He was sent to a blance specialist. They found that it was caused by an inbalance in the ear drum. It was a little piece of sand like stuff that had become dislodges and was wreaking havoc. They flipped him back and forth and the little piece of stufff got put back in place. The dizziness was gone. It Wm he felt like the room was going out the window. Bizarre. Just keep searching. There is probably a reason and a cure for the dizziness. It used to make wm nausea and throw up.

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I think when we all look on the brighter side problems and things tend to look a bit better and what is left we can handle a bit better usually!!

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Cindy: just one day at a time honey. You are where you need to be right now. Your Dad knows you are there and you love him. At some point, I promise all your loved ones that have passed on will leave you with warm and wonderful memories, things that truly will get you through the day. You just need some space and time to accept and draw on their love and guidance.

 

And being a Caregiver does not give you much time. But do try to get some quiet time to reflect for yourself.

 

I do think another opinion is needed for Mike. Maybe an ENT? to start off. Also, I know you are right on top of his meds, so any medication changes in the last few weeks or months, you need to look at.

 

Cindy: you know he might need a change on the antidepressant. But until that dizziness and nausea are resolved, this is probably not the time to make a change there, especially since he does get some help from it.

 

Please know I am thinking and praying for you. Hang in there and do rest as best you can. Do get out and get some fresh air and enjoy the Spring. Debbie

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Hi Cindy, you have been throught a lot. That is how it goes sometimes. My mum would tell me that death is hard on the ones left behind. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Try and get lots of rest. Sorry that Mike is not feeling his best, maybe a seond opinion would help to see what is going on!

 

Best wishes to you both

 

Yvonne

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I have been crazy busy --- but did not YOU to think for one second i haven't read up on you and feel for your family --- i know from Facebook your dad has passed and i know you are thankful for the "release" for your father…. my thoughts are with you…. the dizziness - i don't know strokes- are so mysterious that i can say and do - is what have all done --- throw our hands in the air and say who knows… and then wait for the other shoe to drop…….bless you girl and take it easy , i can only imagine your stress level at this moment …. nancyl

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