I have about 20 minutes before my 9:00 bedtime so I decided to blog. a couple times last week I woke up while still dreaming and it caused me to have an attack. I woke up yesterday morning and forgot to do my meditation. I had done it the first time I woke up while I was dreaming but I fell back asleep and forgot to do it again when I woke up the 2nd time. I got up and went straight to doing laundry so I got overwhelmed and had an attack but I just breathed and it went away quickly. May was mental illness awareness month or something like that so I checked out some books at the library that were on display about managing anxiety and panic. Im learning a lot.

Yesterday was so awesome. I got invited to a cokout at the park with the singles ministry at the church I visit. On my way there I stopped at the store and ran into my old Resident Advisor from my freshmen year of college. She told me to look into working there and to let her know if I need to use her for a reference or anything. The cookout itself was great. I did not bring my card holder for the card games but I did have fun playing checkers! I met so many nice people and new friends. After eating and fellowship, they started playing more active games like kick ball and corn hole. I came back home because I didn't want to overdo it.

Today I went to church. I got prayed for at the altar. I asked the person praying for me to pray for the fear, anxiety, worry, etc. I really felt a release and I felt so good when I left there. I even ran into my old counselor from college on my way out the door and she told me to call her tomorrow. This evening my dad took me to visit my mom for a little bit then he gassed up my car as an early EARLY birthday present lol.

Im so glad I moved here to this apartment. When I was staying with my dad not only was I having seizures, depressed, feeling worthless, etc but I stayed so far out that it wasnt safe for me to drive many places. Where I live now, Im close to the mall, restaurants, the movies, church, parks, the library. I mean its not in walking distance. Im just so thankful Im seizure free and can drive. Living in the city limits and not being afraid to drive has really made a difference in my life. I think Im going to go to the movies tomorrow. Its half off on Mondays and I think it will be nice to go by myself so I wont feel so dependent on other people to enjoy myself